Saturday, January 22, 2011

Why we shouldn't do it on Shabbas...

Lighting a fire on shabbas is like buying charcoal to sleep on all week long.
Cooking on shabbas is like burning your own toe nails off. (sorry if its a sickening analogy.  you should feel a little sick if you still cook on shabbas).
Using your computer on shabbas is like putting a carrot in your bottom orifice.  (please dont use your computer on shabbas).
Spending money on shabbas is like prying off a fingernail.  It hurts.  Really.
Making telephone calls on shabbas is like swallowing a palm tree. Don't do it. Just for emergencies!
Turning on lights and television sets and making electrical changes on shabbas is like stuffing a carrot in your nose.   It wont feel good. It doesnt look that great. But if you have to transgress any of these, I suppose one light switch or two wont be the end of your Shabbas rest.  I dont do it that much.

1 comment:

C.J. Brenner said...

I have since revised this philosophy. I think that the above listed analogies are what the Ultra Orthodox would WANT you to think that these things do. But if you light a fire inside your home on shabbas, it is still like sleeping on a bed of charcoals for a week I guess. That's still one not to do.