Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Paging Attilah the Hun
I was grateful to have a few close friends in medical school. We got along great. We shared hours of close times usually over beers. I was blessed with one friend from the moment I matriculated to college. We endured about 10 years. Sadly I must report that I have 2 of the closest of friends from that era who are no longer with me. No they did not perish and live their last day on the planet. Sadly these 2 upon I imagine seeing that I am nolonger "medically" viable for the careers I had anticipated have broken all contact in all forms. I have no idea what is the concern as I do not feel I have violated either of their souls honor in my lifetime. That said, I have sought to keep our friendships alive over the last decade. No avail. I last mailed a letter to one, a family physician, at his office. No reply. Our last phone conversation was him convincing me that I had no planned future that I could anticipate in my field. The second goes back to my early days in college and we drank together often and shared a common bond of being in the Greek System. Both of these fellows invited me to their weddings and I went. The second I had anticipted might give me a reference of humanity as I was in a situation in 2001 where by I felt that I was being treated as less that a human being during a 5 week hospitalization by a physician who had been born and trained in a foreign nation (Iran). I must say that this fellow did not wish to enlist a favor to do any such letter and that he never remained in contact after that. His words at that time were that he would hope that my "disposition" might someday be favorable for me. That was very petty I felt. I called him 6 years later and spoke to him for about 7 minutes before I feel he feigned a call waiting never to return to my call and never to ask me to either return the call or let him reply to me another time. I found his wife on facebook and tried to make some friendly contact. No replies. A blocked account to me after the 2nd attempt. Am I wrong or have I changed or has their relationships been narrowly righteous. I must say that I think that the idea that your colleague may have a mental illness seems to scare a few away. There are a few others, but these 2 stand out. The idea that your friend is less than the capacity you had hoped should not be a deterrant to your benevolence and kindness. I am not trying to force myself into any of these persons lives, but I must report that I feel this is a heresy of some kind. That of the hatred of perhaps the ill physician or the mentally disabled. I may consider that they think I may be calling to ask them for money or perhaps they think I am desperate for a physicians job and think that I was calling to ask them to do me a big favor and find me a residency position in their scope of hospital associations. Regardless, I would at the very least enjoy a letter detailing their concerns. This was a very painful experience for someone who has only a few social contacts that are from his physician training days. Please colleagues, if you have a friend, keep contact or at the least merit that person with a written description of their errors and what they either need to do to return to your happy graces or that you refuse to speak to them unless the reason is clearly obvious. It hurts.
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1 comment:
As if I need an explanation for the title of this entry, its as if I am the attilah the hun physcian now. Who would call that physician, right?
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