Muktzeh

I must tell you all that I have astonishingly discovered that muktzeh is no longer bothering me today. For as long as I kept the orthodox seeming shabbat, I was well aware of muktzeh as a malady to avoid. Muktzeh is an item that is not holy on the sabbath to be touched with your hand.  But as I am here on a muktzeh computer using it as a Jewish soul uses a useful item of life, I must say that muktzeh takes on new meaning.  I found myself haphazardly picking up a quarter and a dime and carrying it to my other bedroom to put with my pocket change.  I must say that I did not even think of the muktzeh idea until it dawned on me that last week carrying and touching such an item would have caused me to let it go and perhaps kiss my hand to tell my hand that it is indeed still 'loved'.  Muktzeh takes away from your spirituality in that it is an unholy item that has no positive reinforcement for use on Shabbat.  I must say that perhaps to one who engages in using the electricity, muktzeh has lost its changing nature on your spirit and touch.  I must say that with this in mind, I must realize that using electricity on shabbas is indeed a bad conclusion.  I am not a fool and I guess I just had my last horrah.  I am going to go back to keeping a proper sabbath next week I think.        Or am I??????  I just don't know anymore.  I want a holy day but I want to be living in a true age that God has given to us to be human beings of Torah observance.  Perhaps the muktzeh laws are outdated with the advent of electricity that you can indeed use sparingly perhaps on shabbas days.  I know this is a radical idea but I am looking for a human existence and I want to be right on all of the issues all of the time.  I have previously detailed my transformative thought processes of this day and I must say that I can not run around with one cup in the air while the other is behind my back. I must keep them both close to me.  So that said, I think this is it. I no longer observe shabbas as the orthodox jews believe you should. But perhaps I do it the way that I think I should.   Should this week go less than I feel is optimumly I will have to uncross my T's and undot my I's in life and reconsider that this is a transient one day expereince in my life of shabbas observance and that I have just made myself look silly for some reason or another to the Sabbath Kingdom.   
So be good and hope that God is the guiding force in my existence. I think I have passed the ideas of arrogance and heresy as my own driving force that makes me who I am.  Thanks. I think. :).