How I feel today about my past year of "shabbas observance".

I am going through all the lessons I know and this is what I have to say:
As for preparing my home by turning on certain lights, unscrewing the bulbs on the refridgerator, setting the radio to sound ok when I am in one or two of my rooms so I don't have to change the volume or the station- I felt like a trolley can salesman.
As for separating the toilet paper so that I didn't have to rip in on shabbas or setting aside a box of kleenex on my toilet and even doing that on shabbas instead of ripping a square- I felt like a box car hobo or a national kooky man. Really. It was that bad and I admit that in the last several weeks, I just noticed I'd rip a square and I didn't care.
As for not opening a box that came in the mail- I felt like a jehovahs witness. I eventually opened boxes that came on shabbas and was always pleased to get the item that came to me. It made my shabbas better.
As for not using the computer on shabbas- I felt like the statue of liberty doing acid.
As for not watching television on shabbas- I felt like the empire state building running laps around the stock yards.
As for not smoking my pipe on shabbas- I felt like a mexican immigrant waiting for the quotas to fall so that he could indeed get a job working in the fields.
As for not driving on shabbas ever- I felt like a totem pole salesman or a bible salesperson. take your pick. Either way I really did not feel truly Jewish. Just that I was following an extremely angry bunch of people who really did not like the fact that other Jews may have driven anywhere on shabbas when they did in fact walk only. This was actually the last of my shabbas 'delusions' that I think I have addressed. I think all is good. I don't think that I'm going to wake up next Friday and negate all the consideration I've written up today.
So guess what, I'm really a liberal Jew. And personally I think that Torah is liberal.
As for not answering the phone on shabbas- I felt like a corn cob in the hot nebraska sun. I was a good guy before and I was glad to have a day of peace,but it wouldn't have killed me to talk to my brother on shabbas from where he was in China. The poor fellow is not around our main family and just has his own family now. Shabbas should not separate people, just profanity from the holy.