Monday, February 28, 2011
Abandon all Hope, ye who enter
I gave platelets today at the Red Cross. My 2nd time for this particular donation in my lifetime. I must say that it was slightly more painful today and all that beeping of the machine did get quite annoying. But that said, I gave7.8 times 10 to the 11th power of platelets. Enough for 2 donations. It is a blessing to give blood or blood products if you meet donor criteria and can give. I came home and as I did last time, slept a few hours :).
Bleeding Red White and Orange
I must state here that I have already covered my sleeping habits elsewhere in this blog. (see http://sirwaltersbackgammontable.blogspot.com/2010/11/new-lifestyle.html ).
I have just slept a few more hours this morning. I realize that its an unproductive lifestyle by today's standards, but I must admit that the chance to sleep is a chance to rise to a level of spirituality that others may only wish to find. I must admit that the spiritual world for me is intricately involved with my own dream like states during my sleeping hours. Its a blessing I am sure. I must admit that I have had a few dreams that I have only been able to interrpret over the recent years. I once had on going dreams of being in a haunted house. I must say that now this is a rare dream I have not dreamed in many many months. I attribute it to the fact that my own waking home had little order during those times. (well one bedroom that I was given was unorganized and nothing was in an orderly state at that time). Another dream that I once had as a recurring dream was the dream of tornados. I must say that I only recently discovered what I think this dreams meaning is. I believe it was because I did not have a fear and belief in G-d at the time. Again, this dream content is rare to me today. I must say that this dream inspired terror in me.
I have just slept a few more hours this morning. I realize that its an unproductive lifestyle by today's standards, but I must admit that the chance to sleep is a chance to rise to a level of spirituality that others may only wish to find. I must admit that the spiritual world for me is intricately involved with my own dream like states during my sleeping hours. Its a blessing I am sure. I must admit that I have had a few dreams that I have only been able to interrpret over the recent years. I once had on going dreams of being in a haunted house. I must say that now this is a rare dream I have not dreamed in many many months. I attribute it to the fact that my own waking home had little order during those times. (well one bedroom that I was given was unorganized and nothing was in an orderly state at that time). Another dream that I once had as a recurring dream was the dream of tornados. I must say that I only recently discovered what I think this dreams meaning is. I believe it was because I did not have a fear and belief in G-d at the time. Again, this dream content is rare to me today. I must say that this dream inspired terror in me.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Torah is Liberal
So many these days want to illigitimize liberal ideals. The religious right both non Jewish as well as Jewish persons claim that liberalism is ungodly. Not at all.
Liberalism is what brought the American Revolution, the Constitutional Government and many more changes in humanity.
Torah actually is an example of liberalism. The idea that a people might up their roots to find a new home in the holy land is a liberal idea (from Egypt). The idea that we might have a celestial book of laws is liberal. These are examples of a liberal minded Creator.
Liberalism is what brought the American Revolution, the Constitutional Government and many more changes in humanity.
Torah actually is an example of liberalism. The idea that a people might up their roots to find a new home in the holy land is a liberal idea (from Egypt). The idea that we might have a celestial book of laws is liberal. These are examples of a liberal minded Creator.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Hick Town Jew
I must tell you that I have begun to have a little chewing tobacco on Shabbas. Its all I can do to get through a day where I choose not to light a flame. (so no smoking). I keep it in my medicine cabinet and use it for about 3 minutes. I have some nicotine gum as well. but it starts to make your tongue tingle.
So 2 times now in the last 3 weeks, I have had a small amount of tobacco by the chew to tide me over. Disgusting? Well, yes. I last tried it in undergraduate where I took one chew and thought I would puke (though I think I was ok). I never wished to try it again, but it might be the medication I need. Have a friend who told me that the Skoal long cut mint that I tried was really bad but that I might want to try one called Mail bag or somthing like that. This one comes in a pouch. We will see.
I say that tobacco in the non smoked form is ok on Shabbas, but you probably wont see me in my living room spitting the brown juice. I'll stick to a 5 minute bathroom routine maybe once. Last week I did not do this. So, Hick Town Jew I may be.
So 2 times now in the last 3 weeks, I have had a small amount of tobacco by the chew to tide me over. Disgusting? Well, yes. I last tried it in undergraduate where I took one chew and thought I would puke (though I think I was ok). I never wished to try it again, but it might be the medication I need. Have a friend who told me that the Skoal long cut mint that I tried was really bad but that I might want to try one called Mail bag or somthing like that. This one comes in a pouch. We will see.
I say that tobacco in the non smoked form is ok on Shabbas, but you probably wont see me in my living room spitting the brown juice. I'll stick to a 5 minute bathroom routine maybe once. Last week I did not do this. So, Hick Town Jew I may be.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Villifying the patient
I must say that I have a few people in my life who have villified me. One I will note is a physician whose care I was under. I was in an interview with this physician and he was very anxious. He took a phone call and he completely ignored me in the office. I mentioned to him that I thought he was slightly anxious. This caused him to turn me out of his office for further appointments and he sent me to a lesser physician in the group. What I believe the proper protocol for a physician to follow is to inform the patient that he thinks that the doctor patient relationship is not working right and that he would like to know if the patient would like another physician. I must say I felt as I was abandoned and I was. True I did get another physician. The new physician did not give me the best care. I ended up in the hospital and his decisions were marginal at best. I even had this new physician tell me all about how he goes home and talks about stock trades with his brothers and on one occasion that he told another social worker in the room a 3 minute break from my interview to discuss his home nation, India. I thought this was an improper way to use patient time. You do not discuss your personal activities out of the hospital unless you are trying to make conversation with the patient that makes for a better doctor patient relationship. It was like asking me to sing the blues while he played the harmonica. I was not for it.
Naming names
I realize that to the person who is named in my blog, that you are quite free to be unhappy. That said, consider this. I am quite unhappy with a deceptive or a libelous process to which I have already been subjected. I am not going to pussy foot around the living room when I can be dancing in the ballroom. So you are named.
Confusion at the bank line
I must say that one day I was working with a friendly yet quite suspicious attending. We had a few cases together. Anesthesiology. I was to visit and see the patients prior to surgery, get their preoperative report done and prepare the OR. I was called to visit a patient named "CR". CR was going for an OB procedure. A hysterectomy. I went and found her on the floor. Due to some unforseen reason, her surgery was cancelled. OK, easy enough. 15 minutes later I am in the OR area and I am told that CR is coming for her surgery. I told them that "no she was not". A minute later a patient enters the holding area and the OR is not ready. Turns out its a completely different CR and her surgery is exactly the same. What are the odds. My attending was not happy at all. She was not forgiving and she did not even know or understand the mix up. I am sure I am judged incompetant in her memory. Sad. Trouble I was unable to avoid.
Why every American should buy and own at least one Television
I believe that it is truly Godly to watch the television news among other activities. I can not understand why some orthodox Jews choose to avoid owning even one Television set. I do believe that I am accurate to say that some in religious communities, not just Jewish abhor the television set. They theorize that its going to bring godless influences into their homes. Don't they have a say over what they are watching? Just because you dont want a secular influence doesn't mean that you should separate from the world community. Does not the truth of the universe inspire you? I must say that forgoing the Television is like asking God to bring you an apple but ensure that there is no such thing as a tree. Why noone can be earthly at that level, I can not understand. If you keep the television in one room or in a limited place in your life, you are doing a good job. We have one room in our home without any electronics. I would like to keep it that way.
Content of New Blog
I have a blog you may find called http://www.prisonmarker.blogspot.com/. I was unsure of why I wrote it and I did write a funny pithy entry about twittering.
That said, I think its just found its purpose. I just tonight read the most heinous of stories. It helped to blog the remains from my mind on that blog a story that I read in the Plain Dealer. May G-d have mercy on the content of that blog. Thanks.
That said, I think its just found its purpose. I just tonight read the most heinous of stories. It helped to blog the remains from my mind on that blog a story that I read in the Plain Dealer. May G-d have mercy on the content of that blog. Thanks.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
More toys- Dreidles
Downhill slalom
Days gone to the "by". Me on the skislopes. Age 23. Fun times. This was ALTA in Salt Lake City. The powder was great that day. Really. I almost lost a ski in it!!!!!!! 
Academic Challenge
Academic Challenge is the high school equivalent of the "Jeopardy team". It was fun. I am proud to say that as the 7th alternate (top 3 compete) I was able to compete in one event. I cant remember the experience, but I am glad I got to play the game. Fun times. I consider myself intelligent though at that age my knowledge was considerably lower. So that shows how smart some of these fellows were. No ladies. Wonder why. Odd.
Call to glory
I give a graduate degree to anyone who reads my entire blog. and a professional degree to anyone who reads all 8.
My facebook quotations
Quotations "If A is a success in life, then A EQUALS X PLUS Y PLUS Z. work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut!"- Albert Einstein
"There are pyramids in my head,There's one underneath my bed,And my lady's getting cranky" Alan Parsons
"They can not scare me with their empty spaces
Between Stars- on stars where no human race is. I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places"- Robert Frost
..."Actors are cattle" -Alfred Hitchcock
"Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him"- Aldous Huxley
"I dont want loyaly, I want loyalty. I want him to kiss my ass in Macy's window at high noon and tell me it smells like roses. I want his pecker in my pocket."- Lyndon Baynes Johnson
"It was involuntary, they sunk my boat"-John F. Kennedy
"If one cannot catch the bird of paradise better take a wet hen"- Nikita Khruschchev
"Ship me somewheres east of Suez, where the best is like the worst,
Where there aren't no Ten Commandments an' man can raise a thirst"- Rudyard Kipling
"And he went back through the Wet Wild Woods, waving his wild tail and walking by his wild lone. But he never told anybody!"-Rudyard Kipling
"The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes"- Stanley Kubrick
"There are pyramids in my head,There's one underneath my bed,And my lady's getting cranky" Alan Parsons
"They can not scare me with their empty spaces
Between Stars- on stars where no human race is. I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places"- Robert Frost
..."Actors are cattle" -Alfred Hitchcock
"Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him"- Aldous Huxley
"I dont want loyaly, I want loyalty. I want him to kiss my ass in Macy's window at high noon and tell me it smells like roses. I want his pecker in my pocket."- Lyndon Baynes Johnson
"It was involuntary, they sunk my boat"-John F. Kennedy
"If one cannot catch the bird of paradise better take a wet hen"- Nikita Khruschchev
"Ship me somewheres east of Suez, where the best is like the worst,
Where there aren't no Ten Commandments an' man can raise a thirst"- Rudyard Kipling
"And he went back through the Wet Wild Woods, waving his wild tail and walking by his wild lone. But he never told anybody!"-Rudyard Kipling
"The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes"- Stanley Kubrick
Video games, then and now
Its a real shame that some of the old Atari 2600 games are really not in any way being played anymore. Really, its all gone by way to the Xbox and Playstation, massive encompassing games that do not have the esssence of simplicity in their build. I miss River Raid. That was a game that I played for hours as a youth. It was the sine qua non experiment in future gaming of the day. I had much to do and it was a busy experience.
What about today, its all embellished with video graphics of backgrounds and all the like and you get lost in the world. Its not a game anymore, its an adventure in cyberpixels. Probably not bad, but I liked the games. Real games. Maybe someday they will do a retro and make atari 2600 games that you can play on your home PC or your home Xbox. Just to keep the adventure alive. It is almost like thinking of a book that was once well read being tossed into the bin of obscurity and never read again. We still read the classics. Lets keep the games alive. Kids love them!
What about today, its all embellished with video graphics of backgrounds and all the like and you get lost in the world. Its not a game anymore, its an adventure in cyberpixels. Probably not bad, but I liked the games. Real games. Maybe someday they will do a retro and make atari 2600 games that you can play on your home PC or your home Xbox. Just to keep the adventure alive. It is almost like thinking of a book that was once well read being tossed into the bin of obscurity and never read again. We still read the classics. Lets keep the games alive. Kids love them!
Mitzvah Corps
In 1988, I was able to participate in one of the Reform Movements Youth Brigades, the Mitzvah Corps. We brought about 50-70 underpriviledged youth from the Cleveland area to a camp site for a week of overnight camp and fun and games. I was even able to myself particpate as one of 3 of the coordinators of this activity the following summer. It was alot of fun. We have a good time and we hope that the children had fun. It requited intense fundraising. The year I did it as a coordinator, we raised somehow about $10,000 dollars in donations. The fellow pictured above is named "Clayton". He was a fun camper.
Guns and Ammo
I am not a gun owner. I do have a copy of the 2010 Firearms Standard Catalog. I must say that in the Air Force, I found myself in my first experience with shooting a gun. I shot an M9 at targets in the field. It was very frightening and it was very intriging. I never considered ownership after that time. I will say that cleaning the gun was a smart experience that I never considered prior to that to be somthing that might introduce me to the love of guns. I am not a big gun endorser for the general public to amass an arsenal, but gun collectors are quite priviledged to keep their canopy of weapons. I must say that I once considered that I may not indeed be able to own a gun with my history of mental health concerns. Not only that but in my current residence, it would displease and antagonize my father and mother greatly as neither likes guns at all. I am interested in learning more, but I will tell you that in the last 3-4 months since buying the gun catalog, I have looked at it all but 3 minutes or less. Its on my closet shelf.
Blogging like a man of steel. Or maybe a bologna sandwich to my critics
Well folks, to date the blogging has been fun. I am only to report that I have 2 critics known to me, but surely more will collide with my pen. They seem to avoid my handshake.
That said, I am not going to close the door on free speech.
I must say my activities began with Facebook. Around March/April of last year, I began a campaign to work on the works that lead to the book Heresy and Good Fortune. It was fun. It was a new writing experience. Prior to that my activities were limited to any email I might send or the chat circuit online.
I did in April last year begin the idea of writing "May it be" sayings. To add further emphasis I would conclude my comment by the adage "Baruch Hashem". To bless our Creator is to stay out of trouble I say. You can not do wrong, right? Well, I've had a few who have addressed me with displeasure. One with concern in that time. I was a little bit anxious with desire to serve our Creator as I may personally have done. I do think I did so. I railed in my facebook postings for about 10 days about topics of discussion, some good some not so pleasant. I have since taken a number down.
One was a topic that I did not keep up long, but I was quickly learning my organization limitations. I wrote a brief tidbit about congratulating the idea that an abortion provider who did late term abortions may be removed from his post. It was misinterpreted I learned later by a fellow in my town that I was "endorsing the death of another person". Not so. I am not going to approach abortion not just because it is a hot bed issue but simply because I really can not say in any way that I know Gods plan in regards to providing abortions (well I would think that our Creator is against the indiscriminate death to a living fetus or soon to be newborn). But that said, I can not be sure that a woman's sanity and health are not our Creator's concern as well. Torah does not address the unborn to any great deal. I am not going to tell any woman to do so, but if a lady must feel this is her necessity, I am not going to hate her mind and being for her choices. We should do our best to provide counseling to others. I can report that I have even given a small token supportive gesture of contribution to Planned Parenthood. They do a lot more than just counsel a woman regarding her idea of abortion. I say they are an essential element of our culture. Birth control and sexual illness counseling and treatment are major concerns that I consider. That said, to my dear ally I hope that has shared his concern regarding my ideas regarding "killing an abortion provider" I must say this: It is a shame that our nation has come to the extent that abortion is such a dividing issue. We must not limit our freedoms and yet we must consider that of the newborn as well. I must say that you (my friend) are right in noting my comment, but it has been stricken from the record. I do not think you or any other mature reader of my facebook posts is going to do any such thing and so I must say I have done no harm. Question my mental health as you have is your prerogative. I'll let my physicians be my guide as to whether I need treatment or hospitalization. Your further assault on my persona was in my thoughts a case of godlessness on your part. I know you well and I am less impressed with your calculations and your "conservative" stances.
That said, I am not going to close the door on free speech.
I must say my activities began with Facebook. Around March/April of last year, I began a campaign to work on the works that lead to the book Heresy and Good Fortune. It was fun. It was a new writing experience. Prior to that my activities were limited to any email I might send or the chat circuit online.
I did in April last year begin the idea of writing "May it be" sayings. To add further emphasis I would conclude my comment by the adage "Baruch Hashem". To bless our Creator is to stay out of trouble I say. You can not do wrong, right? Well, I've had a few who have addressed me with displeasure. One with concern in that time. I was a little bit anxious with desire to serve our Creator as I may personally have done. I do think I did so. I railed in my facebook postings for about 10 days about topics of discussion, some good some not so pleasant. I have since taken a number down.
One was a topic that I did not keep up long, but I was quickly learning my organization limitations. I wrote a brief tidbit about congratulating the idea that an abortion provider who did late term abortions may be removed from his post. It was misinterpreted I learned later by a fellow in my town that I was "endorsing the death of another person". Not so. I am not going to approach abortion not just because it is a hot bed issue but simply because I really can not say in any way that I know Gods plan in regards to providing abortions (well I would think that our Creator is against the indiscriminate death to a living fetus or soon to be newborn). But that said, I can not be sure that a woman's sanity and health are not our Creator's concern as well. Torah does not address the unborn to any great deal. I am not going to tell any woman to do so, but if a lady must feel this is her necessity, I am not going to hate her mind and being for her choices. We should do our best to provide counseling to others. I can report that I have even given a small token supportive gesture of contribution to Planned Parenthood. They do a lot more than just counsel a woman regarding her idea of abortion. I say they are an essential element of our culture. Birth control and sexual illness counseling and treatment are major concerns that I consider. That said, to my dear ally I hope that has shared his concern regarding my ideas regarding "killing an abortion provider" I must say this: It is a shame that our nation has come to the extent that abortion is such a dividing issue. We must not limit our freedoms and yet we must consider that of the newborn as well. I must say that you (my friend) are right in noting my comment, but it has been stricken from the record. I do not think you or any other mature reader of my facebook posts is going to do any such thing and so I must say I have done no harm. Question my mental health as you have is your prerogative. I'll let my physicians be my guide as to whether I need treatment or hospitalization. Your further assault on my persona was in my thoughts a case of godlessness on your part. I know you well and I am less impressed with your calculations and your "conservative" stances.
Endorsing Dr. Babur Lateef for community leader
I am hereby endorsing a former classmate of mine for the office of Chairman of Prince William County Board of Supervisors. He is an industrious and formidable intelligent and independant leader who has risen during my school days to much strength. I think that Dr. Lateef has the potential to serve our nation wisely and we all hope that it is in Gods will to help Dr. Lateef as Dr. Lateef is a strong community leader who aims to adjust our schools and our community services. I wish him the best. Thanks!
http://www.lateefforchair.com/
http://www.lateefforchair.com/
Einstein replica
I always loved this one. My mother some how found this particular item to display at my own Medical School Graduation Party. He's too cute to fade into obscurity.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Listening to the radiator
I think it would be safe to say that with the commentary I may be making in this blog, I am very unlikely going to apply for another medical residency position. If someone does feel I am a sharp person worth having on their service, give me a call. I'm not the one to put down a boss in an interview, but the facts are as they are and I am not in the practice of medicine as had been the thought and plan. Thanks!
Evil in the light of good service
Dear Miami Beach Mount Sinai Medical Center Anesthesiology personel:
I was a physician serving in your department for 3 weeks in June of 1999. I was glad to be in a Jewish hospital. That was a neat experience I had hoped to someday see. I think.
That said, I was a competant, highly functioning, careful and medically successful resident by that time. I served your department with pride and distinction in my own thoughts. I must say there were a few minor trying moments during that month. I was called to the 5th floor to do an intubation and ended up on a Shabbas Elevator (stops at every floor). This made my arrival late. Perhaps if your resident breifed me that I should have taken the utility elevator and GAVE ME THE KEY TO DO SO. I may have arrived earlier. Either way, I placed that breathing tube with the skill of a marksman shooting an apple off the top of a persons head at 1000 feet or more. I nailed it in a few moments and that patient was more labored in breathing than any other patient I had seen to date. He did fine. He was releived and no complications.
I was completely aghast when this "trouble" was cited in my evaluation by Dr. Laura Foster.
I was also completely aghast that Dr. Drew Lieberman might make a comment in my evaluation that it seemed I "took a drug box home with me" when I discussed with him the fact that the questionable drug box that he saw me pull out of a hidden duffel bag (to hide it) that I placed under his chair in his office for safe keeping was my method, (likely not an unusual one) that I employed for keeping the box from being seen by a theif. I was again aghast that I was described as "taking a break to get lunch when there was a cardiac tamponade case emergently in the process of being worked up". This is a twisted fact. That tamonade case was at 4 PM. When I asked to take a minute to break for a bite was at 11 AM when we had an orthopedic case. My attending, one of the few benign and friendly ones, took the case and I went to get lunch. It was a
Saturday morning and I was just done with 3 hours of Pain rounds where I personally made careful changes to about 11 patients I had never met prior and had even in my experience been my first experience with managing pain concerns. I thought I was a hero.
Thanks for the terrible evaluation. I hope that when you practice your art of medicine, you aren't as disruptive in your judgement and caliber with your patients as you were with me.
P.S. to one of the physician I will not name- I was not impressed by your handling of the young gay 20 some year old that had a versed medication given only very breifly before you kicked him out of the hospital to drive home alone. That was malpractive.
I was a physician serving in your department for 3 weeks in June of 1999. I was glad to be in a Jewish hospital. That was a neat experience I had hoped to someday see. I think.
That said, I was a competant, highly functioning, careful and medically successful resident by that time. I served your department with pride and distinction in my own thoughts. I must say there were a few minor trying moments during that month. I was called to the 5th floor to do an intubation and ended up on a Shabbas Elevator (stops at every floor). This made my arrival late. Perhaps if your resident breifed me that I should have taken the utility elevator and GAVE ME THE KEY TO DO SO. I may have arrived earlier. Either way, I placed that breathing tube with the skill of a marksman shooting an apple off the top of a persons head at 1000 feet or more. I nailed it in a few moments and that patient was more labored in breathing than any other patient I had seen to date. He did fine. He was releived and no complications.
I was completely aghast when this "trouble" was cited in my evaluation by Dr. Laura Foster.
I was also completely aghast that Dr. Drew Lieberman might make a comment in my evaluation that it seemed I "took a drug box home with me" when I discussed with him the fact that the questionable drug box that he saw me pull out of a hidden duffel bag (to hide it) that I placed under his chair in his office for safe keeping was my method, (likely not an unusual one) that I employed for keeping the box from being seen by a theif. I was again aghast that I was described as "taking a break to get lunch when there was a cardiac tamponade case emergently in the process of being worked up". This is a twisted fact. That tamonade case was at 4 PM. When I asked to take a minute to break for a bite was at 11 AM when we had an orthopedic case. My attending, one of the few benign and friendly ones, took the case and I went to get lunch. It was a
Saturday morning and I was just done with 3 hours of Pain rounds where I personally made careful changes to about 11 patients I had never met prior and had even in my experience been my first experience with managing pain concerns. I thought I was a hero.
Thanks for the terrible evaluation. I hope that when you practice your art of medicine, you aren't as disruptive in your judgement and caliber with your patients as you were with me.
P.S. to one of the physician I will not name- I was not impressed by your handling of the young gay 20 some year old that had a versed medication given only very breifly before you kicked him out of the hospital to drive home alone. That was malpractive.
Surgical Resident Evaluation of my first month of training
Upon leaving my residency in San Antonio. I was provided a chance to read my physician evaluations of my performance. I can only remember one. The evaluation stated "worst surgical intern ever". I was shocked. I was shocked a professional physician would speak so unprofessionally about a phsician in any capacity in a legal-professional endeavor. I was probably not the "worst" surgical intern to have ever lived. I can report no major casualties or any deadly mistakes. True one of my attendings lost his pager and I believe I actually found it for him. True I was agitated with a nurse one time on call at 4 am when called to see a patient later than I should been called. True I was "reported" to have written a medication error for a Micronase order. True I was not the most on top of every detail resident. But to say I was the worst shows me that I was indeed in with the wrong people. To this atteding I say the following:
Dear Dr. T.P.,
I met you breifly once and only was with you for about 3 minutes one day when you had a trauma that had an unsuccessful fatal outcome (a 16 year old female motor vehicle crash). I must say that I had looked forward to the opportunity to get to know you and work with you. You had no experience with me and perhaps your evaluation reflected the remarks of my seniors. Either way, I have not forgotten the embarrassment and the pain and trouble your evaluation caused my young physicians caliber. I was hoping for success and I was not your enemy. Please forgive me for my inability to be the best of interns. I hope I can forgive you your callous and undeserving commentary.
Dear Dr. T.P.,
I met you breifly once and only was with you for about 3 minutes one day when you had a trauma that had an unsuccessful fatal outcome (a 16 year old female motor vehicle crash). I must say that I had looked forward to the opportunity to get to know you and work with you. You had no experience with me and perhaps your evaluation reflected the remarks of my seniors. Either way, I have not forgotten the embarrassment and the pain and trouble your evaluation caused my young physicians caliber. I was hoping for success and I was not your enemy. Please forgive me for my inability to be the best of interns. I hope I can forgive you your callous and undeserving commentary.
Marriage under Jewish Law
Jewish weddings are unique in that we have a legal document signed by the groom and bride that is signed by a rabbi and witnesses. Its spiritually and legally binding.
I happen to have a friend who converted to Judaism. This guy got it right.
He initially married prior to his first conversion to an orthodox leaning Jewish woman. He converted then to reform Judaism. He remarried in the Reform Synagogue with a Ketuba. Thats great. I am glad they were off to a good start.
But this guy is smart, he went to the right people and got the truth.
He eventually made full true Jewish conversion under orthodox law. He did indeed have 2 ceremonies where the drop of blood was taken from his foreskin. Not once. Twice.
He became a fully observant Jew.
And in doing so, they had a 3rd wedding. A true Jewish wedding.
Now he does in fact live under true Jewish law.
Those Jews who marry a non orthodox convert to Judaism or to a non Jewish person are really not truly living under Jewish law. Its happening all over this planet and I'm not about to approach one in this situation, but if you really want to exist among your people in a true Jewish marriage, you may wish to consider an Orthodox Wedding ceremony. No Torah Jew will question you.
I happen to have a friend who converted to Judaism. This guy got it right.
He initially married prior to his first conversion to an orthodox leaning Jewish woman. He converted then to reform Judaism. He remarried in the Reform Synagogue with a Ketuba. Thats great. I am glad they were off to a good start.
But this guy is smart, he went to the right people and got the truth.
He eventually made full true Jewish conversion under orthodox law. He did indeed have 2 ceremonies where the drop of blood was taken from his foreskin. Not once. Twice.
He became a fully observant Jew.
And in doing so, they had a 3rd wedding. A true Jewish wedding.
Now he does in fact live under true Jewish law.
Those Jews who marry a non orthodox convert to Judaism or to a non Jewish person are really not truly living under Jewish law. Its happening all over this planet and I'm not about to approach one in this situation, but if you really want to exist among your people in a true Jewish marriage, you may wish to consider an Orthodox Wedding ceremony. No Torah Jew will question you.
Palm Sunday
I found another cigar that I must report is not the optimal experience I had sought. But that said, I didn't mind it so much after about 8-10 minutes. I tried my first Zino. A Zino Platinum. As you are aware, Zinos are considered a top shelf item. Zino is the fellow who started the high grade Davidoff line of cigars. I must report that this Zino curiously smelled sort of like a heavily chlorinated swimming pool at some extent when I started smoking it. It soon had a chemical like taste to it as well. This wasnt as unagreeable after I was used to the smoke. Maybe even a plus if you like that. I may have. But that said, I think I'd say it tasted like pink cotton candy. So I guess this Zino was ok. I give it an 8.7. It did not have that much smoke that came through the cigar either. But still ok. At $10.85, I think its a pleasure I will pass on in the future.
Rats in the Batting Cage
I must editorialize here that I do not completely understand the needs of modern society. I will apologize in advance of I offend the perceived needs and careful calculated risks taken by some of our population.
I am an unwedded male of age 38 soon to be 39 in a few months. I have not had a physical intimate relationship since age 23 I admit. It has been many years. That said, it was difficult for me for a number of years. I felt that I needed another in my life and wanted of course to have intimacy. So many do. But that said, I live comfortably at age 39 with neither. I am not a bad guy. I am just a simple man who does not need physical pleasures of the skin and body to stimulate my minds pleasure centers. I have enough pleasures of reading, viewing painting, poetry, watching television, watching maybe even a movie or whatever that I am contained in my own being. This has been true of me for a good number of years now. I have last been looking for a "date" about 6 or more years ago. Its been that long. I don't miss it though comraderie is always exciting. I need no unsolicited sexual experiences nor do I wish to find any such matter. This is quite personal but let me say where I am going. I do not understand the deep thrust for both heterosexual and nonheterosexual relationships to be formed and the idea of sexual intimacy pursued prior to the wedding. This in this day and age and at my age is something that I can not really understand. I believe that intimacy of the bedroom is really for married couples. I view movies with non marital intimacy sometimes and I feel its sleazy. I realize that I am a person with a religious faith and that clearly must be my help. Not all persons with a faith may agree or proscribe to my thinking. Some may.
That said what we need is friends. Both male and female for all of us. There is no reason for physical intimacy prior to marriage and indeed this is the orthodox jewish way. This even makes true marital intimacy even more treasured. When one has a physically intimate relationship prior to marriage, it makes that part of marriage less than special. You didn't need marriage to give you the bedroom. Right?
I am an unwedded male of age 38 soon to be 39 in a few months. I have not had a physical intimate relationship since age 23 I admit. It has been many years. That said, it was difficult for me for a number of years. I felt that I needed another in my life and wanted of course to have intimacy. So many do. But that said, I live comfortably at age 39 with neither. I am not a bad guy. I am just a simple man who does not need physical pleasures of the skin and body to stimulate my minds pleasure centers. I have enough pleasures of reading, viewing painting, poetry, watching television, watching maybe even a movie or whatever that I am contained in my own being. This has been true of me for a good number of years now. I have last been looking for a "date" about 6 or more years ago. Its been that long. I don't miss it though comraderie is always exciting. I need no unsolicited sexual experiences nor do I wish to find any such matter. This is quite personal but let me say where I am going. I do not understand the deep thrust for both heterosexual and nonheterosexual relationships to be formed and the idea of sexual intimacy pursued prior to the wedding. This in this day and age and at my age is something that I can not really understand. I believe that intimacy of the bedroom is really for married couples. I view movies with non marital intimacy sometimes and I feel its sleazy. I realize that I am a person with a religious faith and that clearly must be my help. Not all persons with a faith may agree or proscribe to my thinking. Some may.
That said what we need is friends. Both male and female for all of us. There is no reason for physical intimacy prior to marriage and indeed this is the orthodox jewish way. This even makes true marital intimacy even more treasured. When one has a physically intimate relationship prior to marriage, it makes that part of marriage less than special. You didn't need marriage to give you the bedroom. Right?
How to do a mitzvot
They say you are to run to do a mitzvah. Don't put it off when you can do it now. Such was my experience today. I did just that. I went outside to smoke a pipe and noticed a box. The 2 mezuzahs I had purchased for the basement area. I took a minute and then put down my pipe and went indoors to work on the mezuzahs. They are up now. Look nice. So, I'm going back to smoking my pipe. And I might just run again. Its a mitzvah to get a blessing of smoky enjoyment.
Back to basics
I just awoke from a 6-7 hour slumber. I must say I do feel my old violent self is slightly returned. That's probably what I needed, a little sleep. Back to being an American. Right? I report that my percussion instruments and me are back to my shake them vigorously and I feel no major hold back that keeps me from being a rigorous American. I guess thats good. Maybe its the hour of the day as that was early morning when I wrote the previous blog. Either way, mezuzahs do have special protection and if you do put them in your entire home as is the practice in the true orthodox community, you may indeed have a better health to enjoy. Physical and Mental. It may cost a bit though so dont expect success over night.
Violence solution in Jewish lives
I must say that I just bought the last of 2 mezuzahs for our home. I must say, I'm not sure if its me or what, but I simply feel "less violent". I was playing with some percussion instruments and its as if I am just a baby with an older body. I feel less able to physically strike the instrument with any destructive tendency. That's what most people find to be useful with percussion? The ability to be a little destructive? My entire body feels as if my health is a higher rate. I sense that I have made a pure living object of the house in which I envelope my mind, body, soul and being. I am not sure this is what I had anticipated, but I feel that I have indeed reached a new sophisticated level of healing. They do say that if you feel that you have illness in your home, check the mezuzah scrolls. Believe it, they are living breathing spiritual modalities. Believe it or not. Will follow.
Gun play in the streets of a fine community
I must say I am a graduate of the fine Youngstown State University. This past few weeks have been difficult. The nation has seen the horrible atrocity of a gun attack on a fellow student at a semi-commissioned fraternity house. Its a horrible situation. I was in a sad state of mourning from the moment I heard the news. That said, I always felt safe on campus. In this day of campus massacres, I still feel Youngstown State is a safe place. Our campus police when I was in attendance were always visible and very useful.
That said, I did have a few situations where guns were threatening our security.
One friend, a Marine ROTC I believe (or maybe a full fledged marine at the time) was shot in the side, a wound which did not penetrate his abdominal wall but entered and exited his abdominal subcutaneus tissue and in fact did not even make him immediately aware that he was shot. Another student, in an incoherent ignorant show of mania and stupidity told an Arab American a derogartory remark about that Americans mother. The Arab A. pulled a gun and aimed it at this fellows head. I had one other incident. I had a friend visit my fraternity house. A fellow who was rushing at the time and living in the house had a Smith and Wesson hand gun and toted it in his bedroom as if he was playing with a tennis racquet. He did not threaten any of us but the situation was clear, he was dangerous and we were not amused or complacent. I am glad to tell you that this fellow is no longer on our fraternities roster.
One other situation I can recall. A fraternity that I did not have much contact with had a woman coed killed in one of their bedrooms. It was suicide I was told, but there were doubts. I never heard any follow up.
Its a scary place. Youngstown has had a huge amount of crime and there is the drug trade in the ghetto like realms that do indeed exist in some multitude.
That all described, Youngstown was one of the most formidable places I've ever had the opportunity to visit and work in and live. I had nice apartments in 3 locations. The university is a friendly place of higher learning. All of my classes were enjoyable and challenging. I was especially impressed by the quality of the campus. Coming from Akron, I had never been to Youngstown prior to my interview visit. The campus is plush and well manicured and well maintained. I am not one to say that aesthetics are how to decide your educational route, but they are a source of great pride. People mowed the grass on a daily and ongoing basis. The campus is contained and does not have streets running through it. The dormitories that I knew were nice. A bit of a small skyrise of 7 floors where I lived. Another was a 2 story (maybe 3 story) nicer newer building build in 1990-91. I was impressed. The quality of campus life was awesome. We had a useful and pleasing student center. There were pool tables in one of the bar/restaurants. The food services, though not kosher for me at the time (it was not a thought) were excellent. I am happy to report that yesterday I communicated with the Jewish services at the university and was told that if I visited they would be able to arrange kosher meals. I am certain that there may be a way to make this possible for any student, in all likelihood. I must say that I have little experience with the local Jewish community. I am told there are orthodox services though perhaps at a less than usual basis. That said, there were not many Jewish students. Perhaps in the future Youngstown will be a more Jewish attended school. I am an alumni and I give it my full endorsement. Thanks!
That said, I did have a few situations where guns were threatening our security.
One friend, a Marine ROTC I believe (or maybe a full fledged marine at the time) was shot in the side, a wound which did not penetrate his abdominal wall but entered and exited his abdominal subcutaneus tissue and in fact did not even make him immediately aware that he was shot. Another student, in an incoherent ignorant show of mania and stupidity told an Arab American a derogartory remark about that Americans mother. The Arab A. pulled a gun and aimed it at this fellows head. I had one other incident. I had a friend visit my fraternity house. A fellow who was rushing at the time and living in the house had a Smith and Wesson hand gun and toted it in his bedroom as if he was playing with a tennis racquet. He did not threaten any of us but the situation was clear, he was dangerous and we were not amused or complacent. I am glad to tell you that this fellow is no longer on our fraternities roster.
One other situation I can recall. A fraternity that I did not have much contact with had a woman coed killed in one of their bedrooms. It was suicide I was told, but there were doubts. I never heard any follow up.
Its a scary place. Youngstown has had a huge amount of crime and there is the drug trade in the ghetto like realms that do indeed exist in some multitude.
That all described, Youngstown was one of the most formidable places I've ever had the opportunity to visit and work in and live. I had nice apartments in 3 locations. The university is a friendly place of higher learning. All of my classes were enjoyable and challenging. I was especially impressed by the quality of the campus. Coming from Akron, I had never been to Youngstown prior to my interview visit. The campus is plush and well manicured and well maintained. I am not one to say that aesthetics are how to decide your educational route, but they are a source of great pride. People mowed the grass on a daily and ongoing basis. The campus is contained and does not have streets running through it. The dormitories that I knew were nice. A bit of a small skyrise of 7 floors where I lived. Another was a 2 story (maybe 3 story) nicer newer building build in 1990-91. I was impressed. The quality of campus life was awesome. We had a useful and pleasing student center. There were pool tables in one of the bar/restaurants. The food services, though not kosher for me at the time (it was not a thought) were excellent. I am happy to report that yesterday I communicated with the Jewish services at the university and was told that if I visited they would be able to arrange kosher meals. I am certain that there may be a way to make this possible for any student, in all likelihood. I must say that I have little experience with the local Jewish community. I am told there are orthodox services though perhaps at a less than usual basis. That said, there were not many Jewish students. Perhaps in the future Youngstown will be a more Jewish attended school. I am an alumni and I give it my full endorsement. Thanks!
Stigma of the ages
I will report a very difficult situation that I recently experienced. As noted in this dialogue, I am not well recieved by the local synagogue now after being a partipant for about 3 years. I was never a detriment that I knew to the reform congregation that I enjoyed when I was younger. In fact, I was the youth groups president, served on the Temple's Board and even held an office at our regional youth groups level. I had several friendships and enjoyed the Jewish experience that I shared with many. I never considered that one day I may be asked to leave a place of worship or that I may feel stigmatized by those I wish very well to be friends with in life. I was aggreived and wrote to a rabbi that I had never met in a location I am far from. He wrote back to me backing the decision of the local synagogue and told me that "if you follow your physicians recommendations and take your medications, things might get better for you.". This was offensive, threatening and pompous. This was conveyed to me by one I have never met nor have I exchanged a word of malice, threats or condescention.
Surviving a Hurricane
In October 1999, a hurricane hit South Florida.. Hurricane Floyd I think it was named. I was living on the beach area so I had to evacuate. I went, where else, to the hospital. I was on an administrative leave, but I was able to find my way into the Trauma center and found a bed in the call room to hang out at for a while. I think I may have spend some time in my vehicle in the Parking garage as well. I remember that somehow during the storm, perhaps the beginning or perhaps the end, I was back on the beach and at my apartment complex. I stood between 2 apartment buildings separated by a few hundred feet perhaps. Maybe less. I stood there and the wind nearly blew me over. Well I guess thats really not too exciting, but I will say I was impressed.
Jackson Memorial Medical Center now Jackson Hospital Association
In 1999, I found myself at the JMH in Miami, FL. A bright future I felt. Well it was bright. But I left in 2000. It was a treasured opportunity. I lived in a ratty apartment building but one that was a 3 minute drive away. Sadly I was under the airports air paths. I was awakened about 3 times a night. I just read today that people living under airports have elevations in their blood pressures when the airplanes fly over head. No surprise. That said, I was so tired that it only mildly aroused me from sleep. Never was I up all night because a plane awoke me.
Jackson is a unique place. In fact, there is a huge jail cell ward on the premises. I've been there at least once to see patients to go to surgery.
I must say that the air at Jackson has a special flavor that I never imagined I might find anywhere. It is breezy with a taste of palm trees and the sea breeze. Its a beautiful place to live. I bet I might even enjoy being a patient there if I needed to be there.
There was a huge trauma center, the Ryder Trauma Center, new in the last 20 years. A formidable place. We had 6 trauma bays to treat people when they came in and indeed 6 operating rooms that all worked in sync. I was in heaven as far as my medical intersts were concerned. That was a great place. I am stronger mentally and physically as I have served at Ryder.
Jackson is a unique place. In fact, there is a huge jail cell ward on the premises. I've been there at least once to see patients to go to surgery.
I must say that the air at Jackson has a special flavor that I never imagined I might find anywhere. It is breezy with a taste of palm trees and the sea breeze. Its a beautiful place to live. I bet I might even enjoy being a patient there if I needed to be there.
There was a huge trauma center, the Ryder Trauma Center, new in the last 20 years. A formidable place. We had 6 trauma bays to treat people when they came in and indeed 6 operating rooms that all worked in sync. I was in heaven as far as my medical intersts were concerned. That was a great place. I am stronger mentally and physically as I have served at Ryder.
Apple being eaten by a yad
This image intrigues me. The apple is being eaten by a yad. It just some how transpired that this is how the letter found itself affixed to my door. Its like a big city being taken over by a character of the alphabet.
Bedroom doors- My office and where I slumber
Here are a few photos of my bedroom doors. Its a new project that I started almost a year ago. I just started putting some stickers on the doors and this is where it went. Hope you enjoy. Its a crazy house, huh? I say doors in the home that have decor on them are less than bland and a clear indication of intelligent life. We aren't living in previous heirlooms of obscurity are we?
My bedroom
Outside of my office-bedroom
Inside of my office bedroom
If you are curious as to whether the hebrew letters mean anything in particular in the arrangement that they are shown. I can not say as to if they have a spirutal or mystical value in their ability to stand for any particular word or words. It is not a written experiment. They are hebrew letters that I bought online from the toy seller http://www.oytoys.com/ . A pretty neat store if you are Jewish.
Toys for a modern day physician at home
What does a doctor do if he ever gets the moment to turn off the clinical acumen and put on a baby hat that takes him or her back to childhood. You better do it I say. You need it. Do it. Listen well.
I have a number of toys I have amassed over the years. Granted I am not in clinical practice and can play around with my moments of living sometimes. I have a large 1.25 inch or so marble on my night stand. Its fun to hold in my hand and roll around. Just the right size. I use it and it makes me introspective.
I decided to start a small regular sized marble collection this past year. I have about 200 or so many marbles that I've purchased. Cost a bit. Don't tell me I "don't have my marbles" or that I've lost too many. I have 200 or more. They are fun, but I report I rarely visit the collection. I have some silly putty. Its a great invention. I leave my one 1 dollar dallop of putty at my bedside where it usually stays on the night table. I put my 1.25 inch marble in it and it stays in place. I like to play with silly putty once in a while. Builds dexterity and agility. As a fellow once intersted in a surgical career, I assure you its an excellent toy.
Most enjoyed today may be my 2 marble kaleidoscopes. One I keep by the computer now and its a green 4 inch long marble kaleidoscope that turns really well. I just play with it in the light of the computer monitor especially when I am waiting for somthing to finish or somthing of the like. Once a day or so now. I have a white grey egg shaped marble kaleidoscope on my night stand. Looks good. Very fancy image. It doesnt turn as well as my straight green one. But its still interesting. I like the look of the kaleidoscope images. They mesmorize my eyes. I must tell you that I had a eureka moment. Take this one or leave it and call me a fool. I am obviously a beatles fan. The song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds has baffled the world. I must say that a girl with kaleidoscope eyes is very curious, but could you imagine a girl has eyes that turn like a kaliedoscope and have 6 sides of mirrored bright see thru objects? I just cant. I dont think shes on drugs. I think she does not exist. This was my eureka, though. I say this. The one who has kaleidoscope eyes is God. He is not a she. But she is a he of course. God does have a feminine personna side as well it is considered. So consider this.... Maybe that song is about the Creator of the Universe. Farfetched? I don't know, but I can get used to knowing that God has eyes that are as mesmerizing as a kaleidoscope. Imagine.
I have a number of toys I have amassed over the years. Granted I am not in clinical practice and can play around with my moments of living sometimes. I have a large 1.25 inch or so marble on my night stand. Its fun to hold in my hand and roll around. Just the right size. I use it and it makes me introspective.
I decided to start a small regular sized marble collection this past year. I have about 200 or so many marbles that I've purchased. Cost a bit. Don't tell me I "don't have my marbles" or that I've lost too many. I have 200 or more. They are fun, but I report I rarely visit the collection. I have some silly putty. Its a great invention. I leave my one 1 dollar dallop of putty at my bedside where it usually stays on the night table. I put my 1.25 inch marble in it and it stays in place. I like to play with silly putty once in a while. Builds dexterity and agility. As a fellow once intersted in a surgical career, I assure you its an excellent toy.
Most enjoyed today may be my 2 marble kaleidoscopes. One I keep by the computer now and its a green 4 inch long marble kaleidoscope that turns really well. I just play with it in the light of the computer monitor especially when I am waiting for somthing to finish or somthing of the like. Once a day or so now. I have a white grey egg shaped marble kaleidoscope on my night stand. Looks good. Very fancy image. It doesnt turn as well as my straight green one. But its still interesting. I like the look of the kaleidoscope images. They mesmorize my eyes. I must tell you that I had a eureka moment. Take this one or leave it and call me a fool. I am obviously a beatles fan. The song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds has baffled the world. I must say that a girl with kaleidoscope eyes is very curious, but could you imagine a girl has eyes that turn like a kaliedoscope and have 6 sides of mirrored bright see thru objects? I just cant. I dont think shes on drugs. I think she does not exist. This was my eureka, though. I say this. The one who has kaleidoscope eyes is God. He is not a she. But she is a he of course. God does have a feminine personna side as well it is considered. So consider this.... Maybe that song is about the Creator of the Universe. Farfetched? I don't know, but I can get used to knowing that God has eyes that are as mesmerizing as a kaleidoscope. Imagine.
The consequence of blogging
I must say that having blogs is interesting. It keeps you on your proverbial toes. But this hour, I am to report that my head feels like it has been sucked dry by a vacuum from the starship google fish. I must say that my brain is empty of new topics to discuss. Its all been discussed. I must say that I'm finding my thoughts turning to the weather. Its a blessing that keeps our heads updating from day to day. I can not live in a shelter where I have no way of knowing change. Change is everything. We must have trust in our lives that we can understand that this world really is turning and that it is about free thought and free expression.
I love the blogging. Really. This is really working for me. I am yet to receive a complaint and I am yet to see a comment from anyone. I have surpassed 1000 hits tonight since inception in Sept 2010. Thats not a bad pace. Its been about 300 new visits in the last week. I can only think that someone is reading my commentary and thinking its worth a repeat visit.
I love the blogging. Really. This is really working for me. I am yet to receive a complaint and I am yet to see a comment from anyone. I have surpassed 1000 hits tonight since inception in Sept 2010. Thats not a bad pace. Its been about 300 new visits in the last week. I can only think that someone is reading my commentary and thinking its worth a repeat visit.
Schvitzing in the AM (not me)
Ever stay up late and watch the late night television? I routinely catch the news reel at 230 am on CBS or ABC. I must say that the commercials are quite annoying. All the same. Nothing like the prime time commercials. No commercials for cars. No commercials for anything useful like a food product or even the Swiffer. Its all bankruptcy attornies, pawn shops, penile enhancements and the like. Its annoying. I pity the children of the Lord who are in the penile enhancement commercial who tell me that this is the most imporant item they ever learned about. Insanity. But I guess someone is up schvitzing (meaning- thinking of nothing useful but their anxieties and their late night paranoid thoughts). Its the business I guess. I wonder how much those constant television commercials cost. Oh one more thats always on- the disabilty moving wheelchair like contraption thats so useful for the disabled. What a pity. I'd like to hear about the flights to Bermuda or somthing.
My day in shitsville
Orlando is a very fine place. This is not about Orlando or its airport. This is about being stuck in the airport and having to spend a night on a chair or bench or how ever I managed to endure the lapse between a missed flight and a rescheduled flight the next day. I was in turmoil. I missed my flight. Really no big deal. Its not. But I found myself somehow eventually finding a bench on which to sleep. I slept after finally getting to sleep probably at 3 in the morning or somthing like that. I guess I was up for some reason. Maybe I slept longer. I think my flight out was at 10 in the morning that next day. I somehow awoke only 20 or some minutes before that flight was to leave. Maybe I did have a little more time, but I remember being painfully rushed. I had to get my luggage out of a locker and board the plane. Funny, I was wearing a red and yellow and white striped shirt, horizontally and narrow stripes. I was moving fast. Overhead I think I heard the "flight of the bumblebee" song. Was I that bumblebee? I felt like my bee hive was hit by a bat and I was headed somewhere without regard to noticing the people I passed. I actualy thought that perhaps someone saw how I was moving about on an overhead camera and thought they'd have a little fun with life and play that tune. I did look just like a bumble bee wearing that shirt.
Made my flight :).
Made my flight :).
Why I didn't go into OBGYN
I must say I had a happy 8 week stay in the OBGYN department at St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Youngstown, OH. Delivering babies. A magnaminous experience. I do believe I delivered 7. A good actually great number for a medical student. I dont remember a minute of it either. I dont remember cutting the cord. I dont remember the birth. I dont even remember the babies. Its funny how things just leave your mind. Likely the anxiety involved? I am not sure. I can not imagine that if I had that experience how any OBGYN physician can remember the details of child births that are normal in their practice. Maybe they can. I don't know.
An obstetrics floor has a unique feel that I have never felt in any other place in my life. Or maybe it was that particular OB floor. It was as if blood was streaming into the world out of the walls of the medical center. New life. Amazing. I was a friend of every resident and even "PS" who told me the only word I remember from the rotation that rang in my memory "dookie" when he had to excuse himself. It was a sad choice of words I admit, but Pat, you are still a funny guy. I bet you are happy and having great years of course.
I think that it was intersting that the GYN part of the rotatoin was so routine. It just felt like there was a process and we went in one door and out the other. I loved to see the strength of the residency program in its ability to deal with so many trusting women with their lives. In all scopes. The OBGYN department was truely unique.
One particular resident was a slightly different sort. He was funny but he was quirky. He was friends with everyone but I suspect he was not too swift in the batting cage. I remember him well.
That said, I did not choose OBGYN. Partly becasue I had felt I had made my interests in General Surgery known to God and man. But that said OB offers procedures, operations, one less year of residency (didn't care to worry about pain and suffering of my own days back then) and it was a challenging field with much awards.
I must say that I am quite uncomfortable in caring for women as a physician. I am a male. I do think its a greater field for the ladies now. I just being an unmarried male don't feel it fits well for me to be in that chair all day long.
Sorry.
An obstetrics floor has a unique feel that I have never felt in any other place in my life. Or maybe it was that particular OB floor. It was as if blood was streaming into the world out of the walls of the medical center. New life. Amazing. I was a friend of every resident and even "PS" who told me the only word I remember from the rotation that rang in my memory "dookie" when he had to excuse himself. It was a sad choice of words I admit, but Pat, you are still a funny guy. I bet you are happy and having great years of course.
I think that it was intersting that the GYN part of the rotatoin was so routine. It just felt like there was a process and we went in one door and out the other. I loved to see the strength of the residency program in its ability to deal with so many trusting women with their lives. In all scopes. The OBGYN department was truely unique.
One particular resident was a slightly different sort. He was funny but he was quirky. He was friends with everyone but I suspect he was not too swift in the batting cage. I remember him well.
That said, I did not choose OBGYN. Partly becasue I had felt I had made my interests in General Surgery known to God and man. But that said OB offers procedures, operations, one less year of residency (didn't care to worry about pain and suffering of my own days back then) and it was a challenging field with much awards.
I must say that I am quite uncomfortable in caring for women as a physician. I am a male. I do think its a greater field for the ladies now. I just being an unmarried male don't feel it fits well for me to be in that chair all day long.
Sorry.
Kids on Mars
I must say here that I am a Jew who owns a copy of the Quran of Mohammed. I am not an Islamic Jew. I am a Jewish Jew. But that said, I once was in the apartment of a fellow physician friend and Jewish soul I have known for many years who went to Tulane University. He indeed had a quran on his bookshelf. My feeling was "you are very wise and you are very discerning". I did not ask him about it nor have I any idea of whether he has indeed read this questionable source of possible wisdom and dare I say some insight perhaps. That said, I did not upon my reading of a number of chapters really feel that I was dealing with the same divine intelligence that wrote the Torah. Perhaps an angel of the Lord instructed Mohammed in his course and perhaps there is some utility to the manuscript. I must say that the discussions of say Adam and Eve were in fact interesting. I must read further when I have the time.
Harshness of biblical dictates and our true mission
I must say here that there are plenty of things we do not do today, not in what is clearly by world opinion to be the civilized western world. We do not stone adulturers. We dare not kill those whose sin is considered great, but its not a murder. Such may be that of those in same sexual relationships. There are a many number of times where upon someone is to be killed in the bible. Stoned in some cases. This is the bible. This is in my opinion the words that our Creator set forth. But we don't do it. And the world really isnt falling apart either. The majority of todays wickedness and distrust for western society comes from the Middle Eastern Nations which in many cases ascribe to the religious law of Islam, that of Sharia Law. Sharia law is harsh. People can have a hand and even a leg amputated for a simple redeemable sin of theft. Be it even small I might imagine. Religious zealouts abound.
This is the day we live.
But we don't maim and destroy here in western civilization.
I must say here that I do believe in the Death Penalty for murder. It is the only way that the pure death can be removed from the living world. I must tell you that I once gave to an antideathpenalty quorum. Just an amount of 3 dollars. I had my philosophical learning curve to ascend.
I must say that upon the death of Saddam Hussein by hanging in Iraq, I was walking to the mall and upon nearly entering the facility, I found my soul hear the sanctity of the universe improve as if every soul who was denied their right to live sighed a breath of fresh air. I remember that exact moment. Its as if the universe healed immensely. The universe is a torn and troubled place that seeks unity and resolve. This got us a light year ahead in my mind.
This is all intersting, but why dont we stone people. Why be humane. The bible prescribes such justice correct?
It is my belief that our Creator gives us ideas and laws, but that in the long run, our Creator also wants man to think for himself. This means that if you might be told to stone someone but think to youself, lets use the lethal injection instead, you may indeed say to your Creator, that "G-d, you are right in telling us to pursue Justice, but we are human beings and we extol virtue. We believe that humane ways are possible and we want to show you that we are stronger than you imagined we might become. We are going to be humane. This is the way we will do our job as a human race. We have a right to be human beings deciding our own futures and we are not comfortable with the degree of justice prescribed by a painful stoning. True its a great way to assuage the sin and godlessness that you certainly wrote the law to dissuade. But that said, you really didnt want alot of people stoned anyhow. You want us to live peacefully and lawfully. I am going to do justice as I feel I humanly am comfortable. I am going to be humane and I will accept the heavenly blessing or consequence for my own choice. I am mankind."
This is my take on it.
So lets kill the stonings. Lets be humane. Lets strive for a universe that heals with light speed.
This is the day we live.
But we don't maim and destroy here in western civilization.
I must say here that I do believe in the Death Penalty for murder. It is the only way that the pure death can be removed from the living world. I must tell you that I once gave to an antideathpenalty quorum. Just an amount of 3 dollars. I had my philosophical learning curve to ascend.
I must say that upon the death of Saddam Hussein by hanging in Iraq, I was walking to the mall and upon nearly entering the facility, I found my soul hear the sanctity of the universe improve as if every soul who was denied their right to live sighed a breath of fresh air. I remember that exact moment. Its as if the universe healed immensely. The universe is a torn and troubled place that seeks unity and resolve. This got us a light year ahead in my mind.
This is all intersting, but why dont we stone people. Why be humane. The bible prescribes such justice correct?
It is my belief that our Creator gives us ideas and laws, but that in the long run, our Creator also wants man to think for himself. This means that if you might be told to stone someone but think to youself, lets use the lethal injection instead, you may indeed say to your Creator, that "G-d, you are right in telling us to pursue Justice, but we are human beings and we extol virtue. We believe that humane ways are possible and we want to show you that we are stronger than you imagined we might become. We are going to be humane. This is the way we will do our job as a human race. We have a right to be human beings deciding our own futures and we are not comfortable with the degree of justice prescribed by a painful stoning. True its a great way to assuage the sin and godlessness that you certainly wrote the law to dissuade. But that said, you really didnt want alot of people stoned anyhow. You want us to live peacefully and lawfully. I am going to do justice as I feel I humanly am comfortable. I am going to be humane and I will accept the heavenly blessing or consequence for my own choice. I am mankind."
This is my take on it.
So lets kill the stonings. Lets be humane. Lets strive for a universe that heals with light speed.
Intellectual Money
I must discuss freely here my own philosophy on monetary matters, that of the brain and the world to come. Its my philosophy that in the world to come, we are to keep the intellectual architecture of our lifetimes worth of memories and knowledge. It is said of a Torah student that they take all of their learning to the next world. This must be true of other learning at some capacity as well as it relates to matters of truth in the universe. That said, let me introduce to you the concept of intellectual money. Money is somthing that can be exchanged for goods, services or power. I hereby relate that what you know is money and that what you know can be expressed in many forms over and over again. Thereby you may in fact increase the wealth of the universe. Learn and keep learning. Read as much as you can. Visual learning is also learning. Movies are interesting but lack some of the verbal inputs. I assure you that most of the visual displays in a movie have no monetary value as I see it. For example I watched a scene in the Bourne Identity tonight. The dialogue was minuscule and the scenery was bland and lacked a refreshing power. I must say that I am not a big connoisseur of the films these days. I may get into at this rate maybe one a year at best. I did miss the movies of yesterday. Somthing tells me that they were better. Is hollywood running out of creativity or are all the experts in retirement or gone?
I must say that to learn is to improve the neural architecture of your brain. Dendritic connections and synapses form instantaneously I do believe. The mind is a plastic substance that is always in flux. It goes from concept to hopefully concept and has a flow. At least my own thinking does seem to follow this paradigm. I must say that verbal attributes are learned and hopefully improved upon in the entire lifetime. The men who are considered Torah Greats or Gadols are the most exceptional in their learning. Take an opportunity to visit the works of Great Rabbi Avigdor Miller, Z'TL if you may some day. I will post a link to one of my favorite of his works if you wish to read more. He was an exceptional student and would notations upon notations on notecards throughout his lifetime and keep them in his pockets. I have not listened to any though he is famous for his numerous audio tapes that are online if you wish to search for them. Awake my Glory is a book that I found to be intellectually stimulating. Rabbi Miller was an avid writer. He left all of his intellectual money to the universe. Access it. Its excellent Jewish Religious Philosophy.
I must say that to learn is to improve the neural architecture of your brain. Dendritic connections and synapses form instantaneously I do believe. The mind is a plastic substance that is always in flux. It goes from concept to hopefully concept and has a flow. At least my own thinking does seem to follow this paradigm. I must say that verbal attributes are learned and hopefully improved upon in the entire lifetime. The men who are considered Torah Greats or Gadols are the most exceptional in their learning. Take an opportunity to visit the works of Great Rabbi Avigdor Miller, Z'TL if you may some day. I will post a link to one of my favorite of his works if you wish to read more. He was an exceptional student and would notations upon notations on notecards throughout his lifetime and keep them in his pockets. I have not listened to any though he is famous for his numerous audio tapes that are online if you wish to search for them. Awake my Glory is a book that I found to be intellectually stimulating. Rabbi Miller was an avid writer. He left all of his intellectual money to the universe. Access it. Its excellent Jewish Religious Philosophy.
In addition, the Torah teaches us that all of our aspirations and learnings are contained in our spirit that lasts eternally. I do believe this to be true in my beliefs. I must say that I have not yet ascertained my own unique place in this universe at the entirety that I imagine I may find myself useful to humanity and useful to my family and friends. I hope that this blog is my way of imparting my own intellectual money on a big media that can reach people, perhaps for generations. Its called spending your money. I'll do it for sure. Thanks!
Why I am a fan of Red Bull Racing Team
Ok, I admit it, I was never into NASCAR, and I still do not go to events or regularly watch races on television. Its neat though, I love the cars. I bought some NASCAR trading cards and a few books that someday I may read and learn more about NASCAR. That said, one day it occurred to me that I needed a team to support. I chose Red Bull Racing team. I looked at all the racers and one jumped out at me on the list of racers. Scott Speed driving then car 82. I am not sure yet the reason, but Scott no longer races with Red Bull. But that said, I think it is Red Bull I was after. I have affixed a number 83 Brian Vickers sticker to my right lower corner of my rear window on my vehicle. I have actually decked out my ride to have a number of stickers including sports teams, my fraternity and my college. It actually looks like a NASCAR vehicle at some proportion (though that was not my intent). I meerly wanted to add to the culture by exciting people who may pass by with an interesting visual display. Its clearly not abhorrent. But once in a while curious onlookers will inquire as to who might do such a thing. When they see me the driver, they are greeted with an older fellow in his late 30s with a large beard. Probably a surprise I think. Anyhow, I'm not an attention seeker, but I wanted to be different. And my near 15 year old vehicle is nothing to consider a work of art, right? Well now its a canvas. And I am the painter.
Memories of a great leader and friend
Barry Adelman, Registered Pharmacist of blessed memory.
Barry Adelman, A'H was a great friend and dare I add a tzaddik of sorts as well. He was a pharmacist I came to know in my experiences as a Jewish youth in jewish youth group and with our reform synagogue.
Barry offered me what became a 2 year job as a pharmacy technician at then Fazio's and later changed names to Carl's pharmacy in Akron, OH. He was the kindest, most astute and most intelligent of friends I have known. We have kept a friendship until he was niftar (deceased) in April of 2005.
Barry was a sports enthusiastist and a bowler, golfer and avid Ohio State Fan. He attended college and pharmacy school at Ohio State University. One entire room in his residence was decorated entirely as an Ohio State Motif. He even had a piece of the field framed on the wall that was of huge value.
Barry taught me a ton. I loved working after school for 3 hours 4 times a week in the pharmacy and 4-6 hours or so on Saturdays. (we were not shabbas observant, but I will attest that pharmacy work is a necessary endeavor that is health care and people need their drugs upon their day of prescription so I disagree that this is a violation of shabbas laws. You cant tell me that you cant get a prescription of needed medications that are usually required on that day on Shabbas. I am not in Israel but imagine that even in the holy land this is a job. Let me know if I am wrong on this).
Barry enjoyed all sports, football, baseball etc. He took me to my first and to date only Ohio State Football game and introduced me to a number of friends and professionals. He was an avid baseball fan that I have seen few match. I must say that working with Barry was a humane experience where by I learned utility, matters of monetary law, matters of faith and propriety and how to "cut the mustard". (a favorite expression of Barry's. One day we were at a golf course and in the lounge we both ordered hotdogs. He tried to apply mustard to his hot dog and the top of the container was not firmly attached. It went all over the place, on the floor and on to himself. Somewhere the expression "dont let them ever tell you that you can not cut the mustard came from him".. It may have been me that had the mustard spill over himself. I can not recall. Maybe it was the proprietor. I can not recall. But it was aptly said and quite funny.).
Barry is a true leader and maybe perhaps a tzaddik (a man of the highest degree of righteousness). I am sure he was a tzaddik.
Finding Fame and Fortune
As I mentioned, I was an Air Force Physician candidate and physican for a short time. My candidate years involved our training in a Health Professions Indoctrination Course (HPOIC) at Medina Annex of the Lackland AFB in San Antonio, TX.
Here is a photograph.
Missing the party
Heavens no. You must go to your prom. I had thought as I had no steady date in my senior year of high school and I was not really into a cliquie exerience that I might in fact pass on going to prom. It was not to be so. A Junior classmate of mine, "J" was invited to the prom by one of my friends and she ensured that indeed I did have a date, a Jewish girl from a Cleveland suburb. It was fine by me, but I really didnt think that dances were that useful to my mind and my spirit. I didnt relish the time to come but it was fine. I walked down the stair case in a red bow tie and black tuxedo escorting a lady in a bright red dress that seemed a little fluffy to me. I thought it was a special day. It was. Really. I had a nice time. We dined at a fine place with about 4-5 couples. We even went to Cedar Point the Amusement park the following day. I was fine. I did not enjoy Cedar point as much as I had hoped. I was sleep deprived. At that young an age, it ate my mind to indigent self expression and thought. I could not be very excited but I guess we all had a few memories. I have photographs.
Public indigence
I bet you thought this was a blog about the dirty and disheveled person on main street or somewhere else holding a sign and asking for a free handout or a job. Its not. Indigence is a mental state. It is not always a physical property. People who lack education, manners, trust and coping skills are indigent. Perhaps not on our street corners, but their contributions are less than the truly competant people in life. They may not be the enemy but they are not that pleasant to endure at times. We must all seek education and diligence in our studies, experiences and friendships.
Mathematics
In my school days, mathematics was the favorite of my experiences. All my years (save for Geometry). I didnt like geometry becuase it wasnt simple addition and subtraction and the like, it was theorems. Memorize them, apply them use them. It was an honors class the the teacher is the star of my mathematics years anywhere. But that said, I felt more like a lawyer than a scientist. I thought it would be a class of shapes and lines. It was not. But that said, I passed and went on to take Calculus classes which in the beginning were applicable and understandable. By the time I made it to college and took up to Calculus 4, I had confessed defeat. Math was not my future. But I was skilled from the process. I must think that it accelerated my thought processes and build contstructive reasoning as well as honorable study patterns and friendly experiences with the unknown and the necessary evil. I do believe in mathematics. Do it, study it, go as far as you can make it. If you can contribute later, awesome. I almost got into a research position with my Caculcus 4 teacher, a fellow from Poland. It was to be game theory. I didnt get it but I liked games, but I knew it was no fun and games. It didn't go anywhere. I invested a few hours trying to see what it encompassed. I remember nothing of use. But that said, I must confess here that I feel majorly aggreived when I had in my days met some children who attend a jewish run school in Cleveland. They told me that they would skip math class at the end of the day to drive themselves home. How terrible!!!! What a loss of constructive thought association. Childhood is a time to build the neural network of your noggin. We really do indeed need mathematics. Life is not about a hebrew language study exclusively and not about simply gemara (sadly I have never had the chance to study. I dont know what I've missed). I do love the idea of private Jewish education, but I must confess, I adore the idea of Jews and non Jews cooperating for the better good of the planet. It started in public schooling. Its not the end of the learning curve. You'll make a life for yourself. Be a good kid. Study hard and please dont trash the math department challenges. Thanks!
My funky home. A childhood paradise, really
Ok, I live with mom and dad. I encompass 2 bedrooms, one large and one the smallest in our home to sleep and write and sometimes watch television and read and basically dwell as I see I wish to live. Its all good and fine. I was not pleased to be returning to live with mom and dad in 2000 when I left my own autonomous living experience in Miami living on Miami Beach on Collins Avenue right on the ocean a walk that does not even involve crossing the street to the ocean. I had a beautiful boardwalk that went some 30 blocks or so and was a human beings paradise for walking and running pleasures. I didn't really use the beach that much in those 6 months. It was there. I smelled it, Id watch the ocean as I walked or ran the boardwalk. We had a nice swimming pool that I must have used 6 times or so. I loved the place as far as you may. The inside of the condoconverted into apartment was a one bedroom somewhat dingy place though open and with a beautiful kitchen that had nice flooring and was always well light. It was home for a bit. Sadly I never had a funtional mezuzah. I guess Gods presence was not that conscripted sadly. But I did not perish. I even painted the bathroom and bedroom doors which were prior to that a dirt covered deep grey. It was not light enough for my eyes to smile at. I painted it white. It took over a week I think. Youd think it to be a simple job. Not the case. I spend at least 15 hours or so on that task perhaps. Maybe it was less. Probably. But that said, even with my labor I never stayed past the 6-7 month mark.
So I now reside in Akron,Ohio in a formidablely beautiful neighborhood with pleasing families and as 25 mph throroughfare. There is plenty of room to walk and as I recently did, I ran for a short distance. Rollerblade if you like. Go bicycling. Akron is always my primary home. I do like it here. I like to see familiar people at times in the grocery stores or other places. I am used to the roads and homes and all the surroundings. Days have been simply spend driving through my favorite venues such as Bath and the Merriman Valley and elsewhere around town where I have enjoyed some good memories. Thats where I was in previous years as I tried to ascertain my own purpose in living as I had no employment that was going in any direction.
So thats who I am. I live with Mom and Dad. Its pleasant. True there may be a contest of wills once in a while. We get along real well. I dont get into their movie watching and they usually leave me do what I may do in my bedrooms in terms of writing, reading, or chatting or anything of the like. I have what I want. I have the space to enjoy myself. I have a bottle of vodka in my sisters bedroom hidden that I steal a bite from once in a while. (well I had to be a bit R rated right?). Just kidding. Its a life. And soon we will have a sukkah. I have soon to be 12 mezuzahs up in various places that I felt need to be presented. I feel like a human being. I feel loved. I feel useful. I make some difference in my online and editorial activities.
I may not have the income of a first officer or a physician, but my expenses get paid even debt slowly fades.
This is it. This is chez ala Brenner. This is hopefully a place I will enjoy for many long years... so I hope unless I may be so fortunate to find another in life. I do believer there are many places I'd enjoy living, but I have the nice basement that my father and I and my brother worked on in the mid 1980s. Its a nice place. We really have a special lifestyle. I would hate to lose the house in the future dare I say if I may outlive both of my parents or if they spuriously seem to wish to relocate for some unknown reason. We really dont have interests anywhere else as a family. Save for my brother in China. I'm not planning in living in a city like Hong Kong. No go. I'm a proud home seeking American. Israel is always a possibility, but thats to be seen if ever. I have not even yet been a visitor.
So I now reside in Akron,Ohio in a formidablely beautiful neighborhood with pleasing families and as 25 mph throroughfare. There is plenty of room to walk and as I recently did, I ran for a short distance. Rollerblade if you like. Go bicycling. Akron is always my primary home. I do like it here. I like to see familiar people at times in the grocery stores or other places. I am used to the roads and homes and all the surroundings. Days have been simply spend driving through my favorite venues such as Bath and the Merriman Valley and elsewhere around town where I have enjoyed some good memories. Thats where I was in previous years as I tried to ascertain my own purpose in living as I had no employment that was going in any direction.
So thats who I am. I live with Mom and Dad. Its pleasant. True there may be a contest of wills once in a while. We get along real well. I dont get into their movie watching and they usually leave me do what I may do in my bedrooms in terms of writing, reading, or chatting or anything of the like. I have what I want. I have the space to enjoy myself. I have a bottle of vodka in my sisters bedroom hidden that I steal a bite from once in a while. (well I had to be a bit R rated right?). Just kidding. Its a life. And soon we will have a sukkah. I have soon to be 12 mezuzahs up in various places that I felt need to be presented. I feel like a human being. I feel loved. I feel useful. I make some difference in my online and editorial activities.
I may not have the income of a first officer or a physician, but my expenses get paid even debt slowly fades.
This is it. This is chez ala Brenner. This is hopefully a place I will enjoy for many long years... so I hope unless I may be so fortunate to find another in life. I do believer there are many places I'd enjoy living, but I have the nice basement that my father and I and my brother worked on in the mid 1980s. Its a nice place. We really have a special lifestyle. I would hate to lose the house in the future dare I say if I may outlive both of my parents or if they spuriously seem to wish to relocate for some unknown reason. We really dont have interests anywhere else as a family. Save for my brother in China. I'm not planning in living in a city like Hong Kong. No go. I'm a proud home seeking American. Israel is always a possibility, but thats to be seen if ever. I have not even yet been a visitor.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Online Dating Services
I must admit, I use them. But I'm really not a big seeker of companionship today. I have my father and mother for company. I have the internet for internet chat. I have books and the radio. I'm set really. I'd like to consider marriage at some point perhaps, but I will tell you that I am in no way comfortable with the idea of changing locations of residence and the efforts to build a home in a new house where I must purchase, evaluate in detail and do all the encompassing things to make a house a true home. Thats a lifetime activity. But that said, if my Creator so chooses that I must indeed find this to be my future, it will be so I am certain. I am no Jonah.
But about these wedding orientated dating sites that are up all over the place online. I must say that in years gone by from maybe 1999 to about 2003, i used one in particular, the Jdate site and spent myself over 1000 dollars in that time frame. Its about 40 or some dollar for a simple month of emailing back and forth today. I say thats really extortion in the name of hopeless romance possibility and flame quests. I must say that online dating is intersting. I was embarrassed upon when a friend told me about 5 years ago that he saw my online profile. It was quite frightening to know that the entire known Jewish world would see a bachelor like me trying to score a big one in a cyber space venue. Not my cup of apple cider or cocoa. I didn't stay and found myself nolonger a user of said venues for 5-6 years or so.
Today I must inform you that I indeed have taken out 3 adds on 3 of the Jewish dating sites. I'm not looking for relations or any of the such. I do find visiting some of the profiles is a fun experience to do once in a while. I am not a major voyeur of that dating life. I did write up 3 breif profiles. I really think I explained myself for who I really am. I wrote "living a lifestyle of cigar smoking, music and online activity" or somthing of the like on Frumster, the orthodox Jewish dating service. On this venue, I called myself Uglyduckling. Ok, so I'm just having fun. It should be obvious. I'm not seriously thinking that a fine intersting and upstanding lady is going to check out the "ugly duckling" am I? Actually if there is a brilliant lady out there with a genuine sense of security and humor, I bet she investigates me further. To date I think 2 have written me, thought neither felt to be of the caliber I seek so I did not pay the 18 dollars or so that it requires to view their emails. Perhaps when more mail comes. In that case, I remain with my facsimile of my image photographed in cyberspace in a jewish dating site. All 3 of them.
The third is called Jewishsingles.com. The least likely place I'd expect someone to be of merit or interst. I called myself "grapplewithme" to inspire someone to have a heart attack. Just kidding. I just want to proove that I am not a fool thats just here to smile at the camera. My jdate name is "EatatJoes" with a number after it that they added. Its all about the same. Cigars, music etc. I did extol my love for country music.
But another thing I did do in fact and feel is a blessing and mitzvah. I detailed in all 3 that if I marry, I should expect the lady to wear a head covering in her daily routine especially outside of the home. I think that Jewish ladies need to know that this is really the expected behavior. Most do not wear one. When I go to Cleveland, I am fortunately impressed that in shopping in kosher shops, this is the mainstay of the married women. Good job. There is still a God in the universe and you know you better do your part to be Jewish. Thats being Jewish. Not subdued.
Thanks.
But about these wedding orientated dating sites that are up all over the place online. I must say that in years gone by from maybe 1999 to about 2003, i used one in particular, the Jdate site and spent myself over 1000 dollars in that time frame. Its about 40 or some dollar for a simple month of emailing back and forth today. I say thats really extortion in the name of hopeless romance possibility and flame quests. I must say that online dating is intersting. I was embarrassed upon when a friend told me about 5 years ago that he saw my online profile. It was quite frightening to know that the entire known Jewish world would see a bachelor like me trying to score a big one in a cyber space venue. Not my cup of apple cider or cocoa. I didn't stay and found myself nolonger a user of said venues for 5-6 years or so.
Today I must inform you that I indeed have taken out 3 adds on 3 of the Jewish dating sites. I'm not looking for relations or any of the such. I do find visiting some of the profiles is a fun experience to do once in a while. I am not a major voyeur of that dating life. I did write up 3 breif profiles. I really think I explained myself for who I really am. I wrote "living a lifestyle of cigar smoking, music and online activity" or somthing of the like on Frumster, the orthodox Jewish dating service. On this venue, I called myself Uglyduckling. Ok, so I'm just having fun. It should be obvious. I'm not seriously thinking that a fine intersting and upstanding lady is going to check out the "ugly duckling" am I? Actually if there is a brilliant lady out there with a genuine sense of security and humor, I bet she investigates me further. To date I think 2 have written me, thought neither felt to be of the caliber I seek so I did not pay the 18 dollars or so that it requires to view their emails. Perhaps when more mail comes. In that case, I remain with my facsimile of my image photographed in cyberspace in a jewish dating site. All 3 of them.
The third is called Jewishsingles.com. The least likely place I'd expect someone to be of merit or interst. I called myself "grapplewithme" to inspire someone to have a heart attack. Just kidding. I just want to proove that I am not a fool thats just here to smile at the camera. My jdate name is "EatatJoes" with a number after it that they added. Its all about the same. Cigars, music etc. I did extol my love for country music.
But another thing I did do in fact and feel is a blessing and mitzvah. I detailed in all 3 that if I marry, I should expect the lady to wear a head covering in her daily routine especially outside of the home. I think that Jewish ladies need to know that this is really the expected behavior. Most do not wear one. When I go to Cleveland, I am fortunately impressed that in shopping in kosher shops, this is the mainstay of the married women. Good job. There is still a God in the universe and you know you better do your part to be Jewish. Thats being Jewish. Not subdued.
Thanks.
Silver screen
I must say that as a child, movies were the mainstay. I went to one a week it seemed. And there really were good ones in that day.... Raiders of the Lost Ark and all its sequels, Poltergiest a scary movie that really got me in the bubble of security, creepshow- another one that really scared the bejeebers out of me, and many many more. Star Wars is the first movie I remember and at age 5, it could have come at a more opportune time. I had in my later years felt embarrassed for my trust in the silverscreen to bring me what was thought to be morals and fortune. I thought that in later years that Star Wars was a fools paradise. No such thing!!!!! I do admit I know a Jewish friend, a lady with children who has noted on her facebook postings that shes never seen a Star Wars Movie, ever and never will. Gosh my dear ally, how sad you really may be, but if you dont like smiles and you dont like an alternate universe, please feel free to desist! I later realized that although I am not planning on any screenings in the meantime, I certainly see Gods hand in the making and perfection of the Star Wars Universe. Perhaps each character has his or her own significance in the scope of world events. Of course Darth Vader is a personification of Mr. Hitler (yemach shemo - may his name be stricken from under heaven), but there are others. I have theorized that Hammerhead is Fidel Castro. (yes imagine hammer head with a cigar huh ) I say that perhaps there is more to the Star Wars Universe that originally described.
That said, it was my most influential silver screen paradise in that and age. I ate it all up. Ever ounce of plastic reels shining its translucent image via a bright bulb 80-100 or so feet onto a white blank canvas on the wall in the dark realm where popcorn and coca-cola are a prime mind numbing and crunching experience.
That said, it was my most influential silver screen paradise in that and age. I ate it all up. Ever ounce of plastic reels shining its translucent image via a bright bulb 80-100 or so feet onto a white blank canvas on the wall in the dark realm where popcorn and coca-cola are a prime mind numbing and crunching experience.
Why Jesus is not plausable
I admit, Jesus is the story they keep telling. Mel G. made it big with his movie about blood and gore and what he calls ungodly living. Was he right? C'mon..... (I've never seen the snuff film. It's not in my plans).
That said, what sort of human being lets himself be guided carrying a heavy cross on his back to a place whereby he will be destroyed. Being on a cross is no better a way to die than standing in place and letting yourself be bludgeoned I say. You'll exist for a time period in pain and with little successful respiration. Is there sin in refusing to be lead to the slaughter. C'mon. No God would want another person to freely walk unto his doom. Not unless you are Obi-Wan Kenobe and you are standing at the last of your days in your old age and facing an adversary and you know that the "force" will let you endure and speak to Luke physically as the universe turns on a dime. C'mon. I have never heard Mr. Jesus's voice. I have read the new testament accounts and as previosly noted, they do not all jive. One has him crucified at 9 am and another at noon. Some describe 2 guards at his gravesite, some say 1, some say none. Some say he was seen after 'rising from the grave' and some say he had vanished I believe. I'm not going to study Jesus any more. His time period in my thoughts has run its day.
But that said, if you are a non sinner how about a stage in whereby you do not move and let them kill you and get it over with. Or whatever. What about fighting. Thats not an illegal effort. In the light of the horror of risk of physical harm to ourselves, are we required to sit like a bacon bit and let the fist of shame squash us into bacon bit dust. I am not a jerk and I am not looking for a fight. But if you thrust a knife towards me, I am going to tally. That said I may not try to destroy you but I may use necessary force as I may have to dispell your hordes of enemy activity. I do not have to self sacrifice but I am not going to be a pagan if I challenge your authority. Thats actually godliness.
That said, what sort of human being lets himself be guided carrying a heavy cross on his back to a place whereby he will be destroyed. Being on a cross is no better a way to die than standing in place and letting yourself be bludgeoned I say. You'll exist for a time period in pain and with little successful respiration. Is there sin in refusing to be lead to the slaughter. C'mon. No God would want another person to freely walk unto his doom. Not unless you are Obi-Wan Kenobe and you are standing at the last of your days in your old age and facing an adversary and you know that the "force" will let you endure and speak to Luke physically as the universe turns on a dime. C'mon. I have never heard Mr. Jesus's voice. I have read the new testament accounts and as previosly noted, they do not all jive. One has him crucified at 9 am and another at noon. Some describe 2 guards at his gravesite, some say 1, some say none. Some say he was seen after 'rising from the grave' and some say he had vanished I believe. I'm not going to study Jesus any more. His time period in my thoughts has run its day.
But that said, if you are a non sinner how about a stage in whereby you do not move and let them kill you and get it over with. Or whatever. What about fighting. Thats not an illegal effort. In the light of the horror of risk of physical harm to ourselves, are we required to sit like a bacon bit and let the fist of shame squash us into bacon bit dust. I am not a jerk and I am not looking for a fight. But if you thrust a knife towards me, I am going to tally. That said I may not try to destroy you but I may use necessary force as I may have to dispell your hordes of enemy activity. I do not have to self sacrifice but I am not going to be a pagan if I challenge your authority. Thats actually godliness.
Following the herd
Ok, I was 16, at that age you get the miraculous degree to work for a living. Great Job. Its my time to labor and run around and bring home the bacon. (or maybe strudel as I am now kosher). So that said, my friend had a job at a place called Bob Evans, a family "down on the farm" restaurant that caters to the breakfast crowd. Ok, be proud. Wear your white shirt, black pants, name tag and string tie with esteem. Right?
I must say I began as a dishwasher and bus boy. A tiring experience for someone my age, but at that time, I was just cruising around and picking things up and organizing them and washing them off. Simple job. Actually its not the most blessed existences but it does not kill you and it does not hurt your organizational and efficiency skills. So get a job kids. Its useful.
I must say that I gravitated to kitchen preparatory work. I was the guy who came in at 5 am, mixed the dough which was prepared industrially ahead of my water adding and mixing process. I would roll it all out and with a large cookie cutting like rolling pin with 6 sided compartments, I would begin the process of cutting the biscuit. I would lay them on pans greased with a lard like substance (great huh. Good job for a Jewish youth.right. Where were the Jewish leaders in my life back then huh?) and then insert it in the over and bake or more likely store them in the refrigerator unit for the day ahead.
I was also an outdoors grounds keeper. I scrubbed the face of the building, scrubbed the pillars, changed the large 2 story high text sign that had removable letters and even watered the shrubbery. That was nice. The sun felt good. I'd enjoy that activity myself any day.
So that was it. Bob Evans for the Jewish kid. I even ate at that venue for a number of years. To my non jewish readers, enjoy. The food tastes pretty good. The chicken soup is great with its fat noodles and of course biscuits and the like are a staple. Breakfast is always a good time for family or friends or to read the paper alone. I went there for years on and off. I can not say I will return sadly. But I am fond of the truth and that is where I was. Enjoy. I think my earnings for 2-3 months were only in the 600 dollar range. Not a big helping but that's the job. 4 dollars and some change an hour. I can not recall a single acquisition that I used the funds for or still have. Troubling at a simple level but I did work. For those of you who complain that democrats "don't labor".. I did in fact labor indeed.
Sadly I will report to you that that year between my sophomore and junior year in high school, I was offered 2 engrossing books on American History to prepare for an AP American History Class in the fall. I never had a chance to touch either. I dropped the class. I took the Comp level class where we just sat for a year and took turns reading aloud out of a text book. I remember no day that there was any inspiration or insightful meaningful learning. I was a poor man. I am still poor. I never had Mr. David Weber, a master among men for American History. (though I had him briefly the following year for an AP American government class). Those who took the course prospered. I languished, though the teacher was a fellow named Mr. Scott who was friendly, interesting and forthright. A few good qualities to be exposed.
So a greater American Citizen I was not. A day laborer I was indeed. I gained money that I can not remember its use. I did have a little camaraderie and I did improve my efficiency and enjoyed some fun kitchen and out door experiences. I was exposed to people who had limited functional or social capacities who were in deed doing the best they could do to survive in the real world. Some heroes, some passing spirits. Thats worth a blog and here it is. Thanks.
I must say I began as a dishwasher and bus boy. A tiring experience for someone my age, but at that time, I was just cruising around and picking things up and organizing them and washing them off. Simple job. Actually its not the most blessed existences but it does not kill you and it does not hurt your organizational and efficiency skills. So get a job kids. Its useful.
I must say that I gravitated to kitchen preparatory work. I was the guy who came in at 5 am, mixed the dough which was prepared industrially ahead of my water adding and mixing process. I would roll it all out and with a large cookie cutting like rolling pin with 6 sided compartments, I would begin the process of cutting the biscuit. I would lay them on pans greased with a lard like substance (great huh. Good job for a Jewish youth.right. Where were the Jewish leaders in my life back then huh?) and then insert it in the over and bake or more likely store them in the refrigerator unit for the day ahead.
I was also an outdoors grounds keeper. I scrubbed the face of the building, scrubbed the pillars, changed the large 2 story high text sign that had removable letters and even watered the shrubbery. That was nice. The sun felt good. I'd enjoy that activity myself any day.
So that was it. Bob Evans for the Jewish kid. I even ate at that venue for a number of years. To my non jewish readers, enjoy. The food tastes pretty good. The chicken soup is great with its fat noodles and of course biscuits and the like are a staple. Breakfast is always a good time for family or friends or to read the paper alone. I went there for years on and off. I can not say I will return sadly. But I am fond of the truth and that is where I was. Enjoy. I think my earnings for 2-3 months were only in the 600 dollar range. Not a big helping but that's the job. 4 dollars and some change an hour. I can not recall a single acquisition that I used the funds for or still have. Troubling at a simple level but I did work. For those of you who complain that democrats "don't labor".. I did in fact labor indeed.
Sadly I will report to you that that year between my sophomore and junior year in high school, I was offered 2 engrossing books on American History to prepare for an AP American History Class in the fall. I never had a chance to touch either. I dropped the class. I took the Comp level class where we just sat for a year and took turns reading aloud out of a text book. I remember no day that there was any inspiration or insightful meaningful learning. I was a poor man. I am still poor. I never had Mr. David Weber, a master among men for American History. (though I had him briefly the following year for an AP American government class). Those who took the course prospered. I languished, though the teacher was a fellow named Mr. Scott who was friendly, interesting and forthright. A few good qualities to be exposed.
So a greater American Citizen I was not. A day laborer I was indeed. I gained money that I can not remember its use. I did have a little camaraderie and I did improve my efficiency and enjoyed some fun kitchen and out door experiences. I was exposed to people who had limited functional or social capacities who were in deed doing the best they could do to survive in the real world. Some heroes, some passing spirits. Thats worth a blog and here it is. Thanks.
Desirable trait in a wife or a daughter
Ok guys, it took me until I was 38 to actually think and realize this is a trait to endorse and discuss. Baking bread. Most specifically Challah. To any orthodox Jewish family, this is a given. I am not onto any special science that mankind has not known. I read an account that families that have challah in the oven on Friday afternoon usually have a lower divorce rate. Challah is such a fine edible and enjoyable treat. I may not be the one to bake it, though if I am living alone in 35 years or so from now, perhaps I will do so myself. Hopefully a plan is in the celestial makings to keep me in paradise forever, right. (and I dont mean baking bread myself, perhaps another will be so kind to do so for me, a wife or daughter).
So that said, I personally feel that if you are a male and have psychological issues, you may wish to take up fishing as a past time. If you are a lady, I endorse baking bread. Its a passion for all. Do I fish? Not yet. Maybe someday and surely if I have children. Its fun. I have yet to dedicate an afternoon to that, but if I was truly disturbed in life, it would be a blessed afternoon.
Thanks!
So that said, I personally feel that if you are a male and have psychological issues, you may wish to take up fishing as a past time. If you are a lady, I endorse baking bread. Its a passion for all. Do I fish? Not yet. Maybe someday and surely if I have children. Its fun. I have yet to dedicate an afternoon to that, but if I was truly disturbed in life, it would be a blessed afternoon.
Thanks!
Buying Thomas Edison baseball cards
Dear folks,
I must report that I have never been a culinary skilled fellow. I just don't have kitchen skills that I employ on a routine basis. I was a spaghetti guy in college when I lived privately or alone. I am clearly the guy who will utilize the microwave. Frozen dinners are a simple 6 minute nuclear experience. That said, I wasn't always like this . (no I'm just trying to be funny really).
I did this as a segue into a blog about my childhood mundle bread baking experiences. When I was perhaps 10 to 12 years old in age, I found myself after a fun day in the Temple Kitchen at our Reform Jewish Synagogue baking the ever so desired cookies that were taught to us by some likely friendly person in the community. I must say it was a fun process. I would make the dough. (a process I really do not recall at all) and then I would roll it and put jelly or jam on one side. Thus upon curling the dough up, it would make a nice cookie that was cut and baked. My father, brother and maybe even sister thought that this was so funny that their older brother was baking a cookie that they came up with a funny song about a "mundle man". It was amusing for them, I am sure. But I admit I was very frozen in shame and discontent at their ridicule of my pleasing and soul satisfying (at some level) hobby. I liked to enjoy the cookies and so too did my family. Mom was always helpful. I was not a master of the baking process but I admit I was having fun.
Perhaps they felt I was being effeminate. Who could say that of a baker. Surely bakers are men and women. I find this a blasphemy though slightly endearing and clearly a nice thought that I can stick in a nice blog to entertain a multitude for all time. So really, thanks. I think I get the final smile.
I must report that I have never been a culinary skilled fellow. I just don't have kitchen skills that I employ on a routine basis. I was a spaghetti guy in college when I lived privately or alone. I am clearly the guy who will utilize the microwave. Frozen dinners are a simple 6 minute nuclear experience. That said, I wasn't always like this . (no I'm just trying to be funny really).
I did this as a segue into a blog about my childhood mundle bread baking experiences. When I was perhaps 10 to 12 years old in age, I found myself after a fun day in the Temple Kitchen at our Reform Jewish Synagogue baking the ever so desired cookies that were taught to us by some likely friendly person in the community. I must say it was a fun process. I would make the dough. (a process I really do not recall at all) and then I would roll it and put jelly or jam on one side. Thus upon curling the dough up, it would make a nice cookie that was cut and baked. My father, brother and maybe even sister thought that this was so funny that their older brother was baking a cookie that they came up with a funny song about a "mundle man". It was amusing for them, I am sure. But I admit I was very frozen in shame and discontent at their ridicule of my pleasing and soul satisfying (at some level) hobby. I liked to enjoy the cookies and so too did my family. Mom was always helpful. I was not a master of the baking process but I admit I was having fun.
Perhaps they felt I was being effeminate. Who could say that of a baker. Surely bakers are men and women. I find this a blasphemy though slightly endearing and clearly a nice thought that I can stick in a nice blog to entertain a multitude for all time. So really, thanks. I think I get the final smile.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)