Why the bible is Hard to Read

The bible is not a simple toy or tool.  It is a very serious document of the True G-dly word and purity of spirit, belief and being.  Trust in your G-d that it is good for you.

I will admit that in my younger times, I might only pick the bible up at temporary intervals.  I did not completely admit that there were situations that were troubling me when I read the bible, but the more I read, the more that its power and influence made me feel sicker or rather that my own innate sicknesses might manifest themselves in horrible spiritual and mental expressions.

There is a reluctance in the inner parts of your unclean spirit and your unpurified heart to attack your neshama as it reads the bible.  Of course this is the evil inclination.
The more you read the bible, the more your evil inclination realizes its time is going to be ending sometime.
This results in a very angry and very agitated troubled yetzer hara.  The yetzer hara will do all in its corrupt power to destroy your very involvement in bettering your own soul.
G-d is good and you do not obviously hate the Bible.

I will profess that in my experiences, there were times that an inner voice (not my yetzer tov) would give me a sentence in my mind that would suggest (chas v'shalom- be it forbidden) that I might do something to desecrate my own bible. Usualy this might end up with a mind trick that a certain part of my inner workings wanted to say spit on the words or do something that may be horrible to my bible. 

Rest assured that this is part of the process.  No one is clearly competant to stand trial before your G-d in their days of beginning their avenue to spiritual, mystical and constitutional purity as you would be encountering in all of your time as you read the Jewish Tanakh.

I will suggest to you that the best remidy for this is an ongoing small but significant contribution to many various charities.  Do not limit yourself to only one charity and do not feel you need to make markedly large contributions.  15 dollars here and 10 dollars there will do exactly what you need to do.

I gave to a number of charities including places that I did not even live just simply to establish a change in the evil that was in my system.  If you give to a charity in say Portland, Oregon and perhaps you live in Portland, Maine, you have directed the evil impulse to a shore far far away.  This way the evil impulse follows the money that it loves so much and it will be far from your being and heart and mind and soul. 

I recommend charities such as NAMI funds (to dispell any mentally ill situations), Red Cross Funds, United Way funds, as well as other charities.  You can get creative.  I gave to a few baseball team charities.  I have given to community resource preservation funds.

Be aware that each time you offer a gift to charity, the scales of judgement weigh in your favor.  It will always scatter some evil in some place or some existence.