SURGEONS REPORT ON THE EXPERIENCE OF A REFORM TEMPLE

Well folks, I did it.  I went to the reform temple.  Its been likely 3-4 years or so since the last time I was in that participation. It was nice at first, I saw some nice people and said hello. I even sat down and really did not think about the fact that there was no separation between the men and women.  I did of course think of it once or twice but that said, we were in the back corner and no women were sitting any where near out position.
That was ok.  They opened the service and they said a blessing over the candles.
There was a song and I enjoyed hearing the cantor who even sounded better tonight give a very nice 2 song bit.
But then somthing happened...
We had to stand for the beginning prayers.  A quasi kaddish of sorts.  I did stand and did not recite it myself but listened in.  In about 4 lines I noticed that my forehead felt as if it was on Fire.  I realized after a few minutes how horrible I physically mentally and spiritually was feeling.  I touched my forehead with my hand and the symptoms subsided.  That was ok.  But I realized at that point it was because there was no separation between the men and the ladies.
This made me think that perhaps I could touch my head when I had the symptoms in the future.
Then I reread the title of the prayer and the symptoms returned.  I got up and left the congregation.  I went out and it seemed ok for a little bit.  I spoke to a congregant and he was a nice fellow. I told him that I was in fact an orthodox Jew and could not feel healthy in that situation thought I had not anticipated how horrible it would be.
So guess what, this nice guy gave me the idea that I could go in the adjoining sanctuary that was closed off from the main synagogue area and pray on my own and listen to the service.  It did work.  Sort of.
I stayed in a dark sanctuary alone for about 10 minutes or so.  I said a few prayers and felt ok.  I felt orthodox again.  But I did not stay there that long.  Being in a room by onesself that is so large did not feel very prosperous so I left and went into the lobby and thought I'd either return to the empty synagogue room or just wait it out.  That was ok.
My mother came out and spoke to me.  I told her that I was thinking I'd wait until the sermon and then go back to the congregation and hear what this rabbi had to say. 
That was seemingly ok. I did not relish standing for 30 minutes or so in a lobby but I was willing to do so since I wanted to hear a sermon and I thought mom and dad were having a good time.
So that was that.
But I will report here that we were in conversation with a woman who is married to one of the clergy in the lobby and in fact the symptoms returned about as bad as they were in the first place.
I told my mother I needed to leave and In fact I really did need to leave.
Perhaps I could have waited outside of the building, but I soon realized that just being in a building without a mechitza when a good amount of Jewish souls tried to pray our prayers was detrimental to my sanity and my soul.
It is this folks.
To get rid of a mechitza is to invite death to your life.  I feel that had I stayed in that service, perhaps my own life might end three years sooner.  If I did it my whole life I say 10 or whatever less years of living.
The orthodox very much do live longer lives.  Its a fact that noone can dispute.
That said, I am healing now.
I got home and I still felt the pain.  I wondered if the only way to get rid of the symptoms was to go to a Torah Congregation with a Mechitza which maybe I could do on Sunday.  Maybe I still will.
That said, I picked up my tefillin and placed the enclosed Tefillin in their box container on my forehead and my arm.  This helped. I kept it there for about 1-2 minutes and I must report that I felt true healing.
I am ok guys.  I hope that my life was not shortened.  Not much I hope.
That said, I can assure you that this orthodox jew will now never ever again set foot in a Reform or Conservative or other non orthodox congregation for the rest of my days unless there is some God awful reason such as maybe a death. I do not think I would even go for that.
I wont be able to attend a reform wedding either I think.  It just hurts that bad.
So guys.  If you want Death, keep the mechitza out of your days.  But if you want Life, a mechitza is absolute.
The idea of being in this symptomatic state made me feel that the entire situation was Deadly.  It is.
I never felt this way when I was a younger adult and in that situation. I liked the enlightening experience and perceived that I was a good person and healthy Jew. I was not really that healthy if that is what happens.
Thats the topic now guys.  Mechitzas much be reestablished at least if you want to be a human being that loves Torah you must have one.
Say what you want, but I must profess that being in that lobby I realized that the entire congregation hated Torah as they hated a mechitza to not have one present.  Thats the hatred that filled the building and it seemed to get worse.
I will write to the rabbis and tell them that I am sorry I can never return.
A sad learning experiences but now evidence of the deadly nature of non orthodox beliefs.